Blogoscopes Week of May 11 to 18, 2009

Aries - So the fickle finger of fame is no longer pointing at you. You would be okay with this if the finger were perhaps broken, or if it had disappeared altogether. The thing that is bothering you is that the finger is fine thank you very much, it has just moved on to point at someone else. Buck up - think of all the things you can get away with while no one is looking.

Taurus - Many things are coming to fruition for you and many more are just beginning. Knowing you, this of course means that there are at least sixteen other things in your life which are partially complete - or partially begun depending on your point of view. Before the curtain rises on a shiny new scheme, cast an eye over your to-do list and see which ones you're still partial to.

Gemini - This week should be a snap for your ruler as the universe asks you to talk your way in to trouble. Well, not really trouble - let's just say it's something your grandmother would have called trouble. It won't be too easy - you'll have to talk fast and say the right things but if trouble were simple everybody would be in it wouldn't they?

Cancer - Start mumbling. Or tell everyone you know that you're learning to speak Icelandic. Or come up with your own strategy. You'll need something to cover up when you make a slip in an intimate moment this week. While you're memorizing 47 ways to say iceberg you can puzzle out the answer to why you made this slip and why now?

Leo - Wake up! Oh sorry you were awake. Yet you seem to believe that you're dreaming. You're doing a lot of edgy, even dangerous things, and doing them all with a silly grin on your face and a thousand mile stare in your eyes. If you fly in dreams do you fly in real life? Who knows? The point is you're not dreaming and the sooner you realize it the better.

Virgo - There are two kinds of stubborn in the world - mules and Virgo's. Although to be fair, Virgo's aren't so much stubborn as they are just-not-listening-to-you. Deaf to the so-called voice of reason, you, Virgo, can more easily enjoy being naughty. Is it fearlessness or insanity? You're ignoring the consequences while never losing sight of your goal. Bravo.

Libra - Ooooh, Libra, the winds of change are ablowin', howling around the eaves, oooh! Fortunately by the time they get to your place they'll have died down to the breezes of whatever. You should feel safe to step outside for a breath of air. A lot of pretty cool stuff is headed your way so for now, just enjoy the weather.

Scorpio - There's a ritual being enacted here; a clearing out of old things, useless ideas, destructive habits and unhealthy connections. Okay, so really you're just spring cleaning, but that's still a tradition. It might take you a little longer than it does others, but you do a much more thorough job. At least we hope so because there's something scary behind your stove.

Sagittarius - Please promise that over the coming days you will ignore any sudden urges to play with sharp objects and electrical outlets - this includes forks and toasters and has a special dispensation to include a ban on combining bathtubs and electricity. You won't do any physical harm to yourself, the danger is you'll fall in love with with your blender.

Capricorn - This week at one of those excruciatingly dull social events you feel compelled to attend, an angel will come to you and whisper in your ear, stories of a beautiful land where you are worshipped for your grace, wit and charm; a land of tranquility and wealth. Ahhhhh.....of course you'll come to and realize you volunteered for something horrible, but who cares?

Aquarius - The phrase ships that pass in the night is used to describe a negative - regret for something lost. If they didn't pass, wouldn't they just crash into one another? Apparently there are other options; friendly gestures with bells and beacons; still there's also boarding by pirates. To be on the safe side ships should keep their distance but maintain eye contact.

Pisces - Don't pretend to want anything other than what you really really want. Going along just to get along will not get anybody very far. You're an adult right? Dealing with other adults? Okay then, just come out and say what it is that you're feeling and what you want. Oh heavens don't explain why, nobody but you needs to know your motivation for any of this.