Aries - When you were a kid and first learning to play the guitar everybody gave you a hard time about it - they complained about the noise, they told you that you sucked, they mocked you for your dream and they blocked you at every turn. They were also the first to call begging for backstage passes when you played Wembley Stadium. So, it's time for your high school reunion and this week you're playing to the home town crowd for the first time. Nothing has changed, they're just not saying it to your face.
Taurus - Hey did you know that Tony Robbins is coming to Toronto soon? Did you know he was still alive? Because I didn't. I mean I didn't really think he was dead but I'd forgotten that he was alive which is almost the same thing. Are people still joining his cult? What is it that he says that draws the crowds? Hey you know what, if this guy can still pack em in and make a decent living doing it, what's stopping you? If I had to choose a motivational speaker it would definitely be you. You have interesting things to say. Plus I know that you're alive.
Gemini - One man's trash is another man's treasure; an old saw that is amply demonstrated by that exclusively urban activity - garbage picking. It never fails to amaze me what people will decide to throw out on the curb on collection night. I've found furniture, stereos, and once, a gorgeous oriental carpet. The stereo worked, the furniture needed a coat of paint, but the carpet was a stained disaster. Broke my heart really, cause it was perfect for my room. Ah well, it just goes to show that what you love by moonlight is not always everything it seems.
Cancer - Some one's knocking on your front door, the phone is ringing, your cell is vibrating and your computer says you've got mail. It's really annoying but I'll tell you right now that ignoring all of it will not make any of it go away. You absolutely must respond, but keep in mind that "no comment" is a response: blocking e-mails is a response: slamming a door in some one's face is a response. Take a moment to reflect before you do respond because one of them you will want to actually talk to and you don't want to risk being unresponsive.
Leo - I'm going to recommend that you spend some time this week watching old cartoons. You know what Coyote & Roadrunner teach us - don't look down, don't buy from Acme, obsession is bad - but don't overlook the life lessons offered by other quirky animated characters. Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, Porky Pig, Daffy Duck, Huckleberry Hound, Quick Draw McGraw and Yogi Bear - each represents a universal archetype, and, like the characters of a tarot deck, can lead you to enlightenment. It's like the dao of Booboo and Baba Looey.
Virgo - Reality makeover shows usually have nothing to do with reality. Pretty personalities invade the lives of sad and hapless losers looking for handouts. Home, wardrobe, life, loves, whatever it is they're re-making, in the end all that changes is the facade. A coat of paint and some new upholstery, make up and wardrobe, clean it all up and wave good bye. How long after the cameras are gone and the production team has driven away, does it all fall apart? Real change takes more than favours and freebies, it takes hard work and commitment.
Libra - Forget the fact that Paris Hilton's dog has been on the cover of People, seen more red carpet action than you ever will, and knows what Stavros Niarchos III looks like naked, Tinkerbell has also written a book! It kind of makes you wonder why any one would want to be famous. Really: you're fighting for market share with a chihuahua! Does that seem like a worthwhile life goal? You are really sparkly right now and well on your way to cover story status so I guess the only decision you have to make is whether you are carrying the rhinestone covered handbag or whether you're in it.
Scorpio - I tried to channel my inner Scorpio this week and ended up writing a lot of X-rated stuff. You are probably experiencing the exact same thing in a totally different way. So over the next few weeks I want you to turn on your inner spelling and grammar check and set your spam guard to high alert. Every time you sing a note, speak a word, write a sentence, or type an e-mail, I want you to take every precaution possible to make sure you get it right. I'm also giving you one more very powerful tool to help you avoid a tongue twisting travesty. If you want anybody to listen to a word you say, use it.
Sagittarius - What is success? Is it the mountaintop reached through hard work and struggle; or is achievement measured in floating clouds of dream fulfillment? Every body loves heart warming stories of people following dreams: it motivates them to invent dreams of their own to follow. But the point of following a true dream is that it has no purpose beyond itself - not wealth, not fame, not revenge. Which is why so many of them go off the rails. But not you; you follow your dream for it's own sake.
Capricorn - There are two schools of thought about what it takes to be a successful gambler: one says you need to know how much you can afford to lose and be ready to walk away: the other calls that loser thinking, and urges a go for broke attitude. I know which one you are - you're smart, your careful and so far, you're winning, but is now really the time to be counting chips? Just line up your troll doll, your Elvis snow-globe and your green rabbit's foot. Pull up your lucky underwear, and bet the whole enchilada.
Aquarius - Imagine what your life would be like if you were a raindrop. Check out that link, and then come back so that I can tell you that I wanted to use this as a way of showing you how connected everything is to everything else, and how every single step of the way is equally as important as the one before it and the one to come after: mostly, I want to show you that raindrops are neither rich nor poor, good nor evil: raindrops do not have degrees of beautiful: raindrops have one simple purpose.
Pisces - Go fly a kite! Seriously, you've got hold of the tail end of something that is taking off big time. Yes, the perfect sunny and airy conditions do seem to be prevailing, but a kite doesn't just get itself air borne now does it? You are going to have to carry that contraption to the top of the highest hill you can find, and then trot ahead of it for a few yards until it takes off. It will undoubtedly flap around in the breeze for a bit, but it's not an attempt to escape, just to discover its own flight pattern. Just hang on and keep your feet on the ground.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Blogoscopes Week of September 24th to October 1st, 2007
Aries - Hearing voices is not just for crazy people any more. A surprising percentage of the so-called 'normal' population hear their names being called, instructions being given and many even hold conversations with people who aren't visible. Sometimes the voices are familiar and sometimes they're not. The frequency apparently increases as we age. Admitting this has not always carried the stigma of mental illness - in earlier times it was interpreted as a sign of demonic possession. A case of pick your poison. Listen well but be careful what you repeat.
Taurus - Know what's the best thing about the see-saw? When the right person is on the other end of that board the potential for fun on a fulcrum is limitless. The two of you can take turns lifting each other on high or balance so you're both in mid air. Trust in your playmate means you won't either get slammed to the ground or be left hanging. When you both play nice, the non-stop up and down is a lot of fun. Um, I said when you both play nice. Your attempt at being uplifting has turned into hanging someone up. It's time to get off your duff.
Gemini - In just a few short weeks, your ruler Mercury will once again go retrograde. Venus, the love of his life, will tell him that it just won't ever work between them, and that she's moving to Moscow to be closer to her true love Mars. Whatever bad news you receive now, it is definitely being over-dramatized, and nobody is able to clearly view the entire picture. My advice to you on dealing with this situation is to throw a party. It will help to pass the time while you wait for things to work themselves out - and they will, work themselves out.
Cancer - Last evening at a friend's studio opening, I got into a discussion about boots. My favourite boots are nearly ten years old and no longer particularly fashionable. They lace up to my knee - no zippers that's cheating - so they hug my legs. They have a soles like tractor treads so every step feels solid. Needless to say, they're black. They are so comfortable that I have actually slept in them! Okay, okay, passed out in them, but the point is, that it won't kill you to put something off until tomorrow. If you can't do that, then ask somebody to give you a hand.
Leo - You're not the biggest fan of winter. It's cold and damp; the lake is frozen; outdoor activities become problematic and; there's never enough daylight. But then, every once in a while, you get one of those perfect December days - you know, all sunshiny with a crisp blue sky and smooth tobogganing down slopes of fresh powdery snow. Get this picture in your head and keep it there over the days ahead. Not all winter is dark, and not all downhill is a crash - sometimes what looks really scary is truly fun and easy.
Virgo - Is guilt an emotion? In the sense of being hate turned inward, then yes it most certainly is an emotion. And, it's the one emotion that is, hopefully, susceptible to reason. So listen up - you are human: this is a learning experience: the curve is steep but you will make it. And the best thing is that you are moving toward a carrot, not ahead of a stick. It's all about future rewards not past punishments. Work is work, play is play and you need to participate in all of it fully, without hating yourself for the fun parts.
Libra - Sometimes it's incredibly difficult to get your point across. It's like sitting in the nosebleed seats at the Sky Dome and trying to call the play on the field. It's like being in the audience at The Price Is Right and shouting numbers at a stranger in contestant row. Even if you could make yourself heard, why should anybody believe you before anyone else in the screaming throng that surrounds you? Here's a hint: remember that you're talking down to someone. You need volume and attitude. Grab a megaphone and slap on a sneer.
Scorpio - All you vegetarians stick with me here because if you can't share the sentiment you are at least familiar with the concept: the perfect steak. It's thick and juicy, prepared to a degree that suits whatever your individual taste requires - well done, medium-well, medium, medium-rare, rare and blue rare. There's probably some aficionado out there who has names for at least two more degrees of done-ness between blue and raw, but that's the point isn't it? Life is a steak and should be served to suit you. So how would you like that cooked?
Sagittarius - Oscar Wilde has been quoted as saying he always carried his diary with him on his travels in case he needed something scandalous to read. You might want to think about doing something similar with your diary, if not for the scandal, then for a couple of very good reasons. It's a reminder of your past - helping you measure how far you've travelled toward your goals, reminding you who you used to be, who you are and who you want to be. It will also give you a good chance to do some editing with an eye to future publication.
Capricorn - So you got the middle seat, in the middle row. You're flanked on the right by a dentist from the mid-west, his alcoholic wife and spaced out kids and on the left by a Heavy Metal cover band with rock star pretensions. The flight attendants are avoiding eye contact, which sucks cause you could really use a drink. Hey, psst! Remember, two seats to the right there's an alcoholic! And I'm sure somebody in this row could roll you a joint if needed. Being stuck in the middle doesn't mean you can't have fun.
Aquarius - Anticipation is a wonderful spice. By the time you get around to any actual experience, your senses are so cranked up with waiting that when it finally occurs, every aspect of it is heightened. Of course Anticipation has a twin sister named Dread, who creates a similar, although less salubrious effect. Either one can get you so carried away that reality is reduced to something that is rapidly disappearing in the rear view mirror. Write your name and address in your undies and drop some breadcrumbs if you ever want to find you way back to Earth.
Pisces - Home staging improves your chances of a quick and profitable turn over when it comes to real estate. An entire television genre has sprung up around this idea. It's easy to get caught up in the pretty decorator-ness of it all but in reality what home staging does, is imply the kind of lifestyle that prospective buyers want. It works for more than real estate. If you want people to buy into your latest idea, you are going to have to dress it up real nice and make it sparkle. That way everybody will want what you've got.
Taurus - Know what's the best thing about the see-saw? When the right person is on the other end of that board the potential for fun on a fulcrum is limitless. The two of you can take turns lifting each other on high or balance so you're both in mid air. Trust in your playmate means you won't either get slammed to the ground or be left hanging. When you both play nice, the non-stop up and down is a lot of fun. Um, I said when you both play nice. Your attempt at being uplifting has turned into hanging someone up. It's time to get off your duff.
Gemini - In just a few short weeks, your ruler Mercury will once again go retrograde. Venus, the love of his life, will tell him that it just won't ever work between them, and that she's moving to Moscow to be closer to her true love Mars. Whatever bad news you receive now, it is definitely being over-dramatized, and nobody is able to clearly view the entire picture. My advice to you on dealing with this situation is to throw a party. It will help to pass the time while you wait for things to work themselves out - and they will, work themselves out.
Cancer - Last evening at a friend's studio opening, I got into a discussion about boots. My favourite boots are nearly ten years old and no longer particularly fashionable. They lace up to my knee - no zippers that's cheating - so they hug my legs. They have a soles like tractor treads so every step feels solid. Needless to say, they're black. They are so comfortable that I have actually slept in them! Okay, okay, passed out in them, but the point is, that it won't kill you to put something off until tomorrow. If you can't do that, then ask somebody to give you a hand.
Leo - You're not the biggest fan of winter. It's cold and damp; the lake is frozen; outdoor activities become problematic and; there's never enough daylight. But then, every once in a while, you get one of those perfect December days - you know, all sunshiny with a crisp blue sky and smooth tobogganing down slopes of fresh powdery snow. Get this picture in your head and keep it there over the days ahead. Not all winter is dark, and not all downhill is a crash - sometimes what looks really scary is truly fun and easy.
Virgo - Is guilt an emotion? In the sense of being hate turned inward, then yes it most certainly is an emotion. And, it's the one emotion that is, hopefully, susceptible to reason. So listen up - you are human: this is a learning experience: the curve is steep but you will make it. And the best thing is that you are moving toward a carrot, not ahead of a stick. It's all about future rewards not past punishments. Work is work, play is play and you need to participate in all of it fully, without hating yourself for the fun parts.
Libra - Sometimes it's incredibly difficult to get your point across. It's like sitting in the nosebleed seats at the Sky Dome and trying to call the play on the field. It's like being in the audience at The Price Is Right and shouting numbers at a stranger in contestant row. Even if you could make yourself heard, why should anybody believe you before anyone else in the screaming throng that surrounds you? Here's a hint: remember that you're talking down to someone. You need volume and attitude. Grab a megaphone and slap on a sneer.
Scorpio - All you vegetarians stick with me here because if you can't share the sentiment you are at least familiar with the concept: the perfect steak. It's thick and juicy, prepared to a degree that suits whatever your individual taste requires - well done, medium-well, medium, medium-rare, rare and blue rare. There's probably some aficionado out there who has names for at least two more degrees of done-ness between blue and raw, but that's the point isn't it? Life is a steak and should be served to suit you. So how would you like that cooked?
Sagittarius - Oscar Wilde has been quoted as saying he always carried his diary with him on his travels in case he needed something scandalous to read. You might want to think about doing something similar with your diary, if not for the scandal, then for a couple of very good reasons. It's a reminder of your past - helping you measure how far you've travelled toward your goals, reminding you who you used to be, who you are and who you want to be. It will also give you a good chance to do some editing with an eye to future publication.
Capricorn - So you got the middle seat, in the middle row. You're flanked on the right by a dentist from the mid-west, his alcoholic wife and spaced out kids and on the left by a Heavy Metal cover band with rock star pretensions. The flight attendants are avoiding eye contact, which sucks cause you could really use a drink. Hey, psst! Remember, two seats to the right there's an alcoholic! And I'm sure somebody in this row could roll you a joint if needed. Being stuck in the middle doesn't mean you can't have fun.
Aquarius - Anticipation is a wonderful spice. By the time you get around to any actual experience, your senses are so cranked up with waiting that when it finally occurs, every aspect of it is heightened. Of course Anticipation has a twin sister named Dread, who creates a similar, although less salubrious effect. Either one can get you so carried away that reality is reduced to something that is rapidly disappearing in the rear view mirror. Write your name and address in your undies and drop some breadcrumbs if you ever want to find you way back to Earth.
Pisces - Home staging improves your chances of a quick and profitable turn over when it comes to real estate. An entire television genre has sprung up around this idea. It's easy to get caught up in the pretty decorator-ness of it all but in reality what home staging does, is imply the kind of lifestyle that prospective buyers want. It works for more than real estate. If you want people to buy into your latest idea, you are going to have to dress it up real nice and make it sparkle. That way everybody will want what you've got.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Blogoscopes, Week of September 17 to 24, 2007
Aries - While the cat's away, the mice will play - an old adage that could be the tag line for most teen movies; Mom and Dad go away, leaving you, earnestly determined to be good, alone and in charge of the house, the car, and the dog. You fall prey to wily and unethical forces that overrun your home and threaten to get you grounded. You will get away with this party, but when it comes to clean up, you will also be on your own.
Taurus – You know they say that saving a drowning person may be the hardest type of rescue to pull off....believe it or not drowning people often fight to get away from their would be heroes. You're advised to throw them a rope or hand them a pole or do just about anything but touch them. Otherwise you run the risk of going down with them. You're a hands on kinda person though so I advise you to take another path - knock them unconscious and drag them to shore.
Gemini - You are normally a fine juggler but lately your left hand hasn't known what your right was doing and you've been shy of tossing anything up in case you can't catch it. Well the good news is that this week the gravity gets turned off and you'll get all four hands back in sync. The down side is that you can't decide whether to go back to flinging apples, bowling balls or flaming chainsaws. What the heck, why not try one of each?
Cancer – Once in a while we are wise take our selves through the process of weeding out. We get rid of the things that are only taking up space in our lives; clothes we’ve outgrown, books we’ll never read again, records we haven’t listened to in years. Most often the hardest things to lose are not things but thoughts. Spend the next few days in the basement of your memories, but prepare to let some of it go.
Leo - I had a dream the other night that you were a scientist - not world re-knowned or even very well funded, but passionate about your research and determined to be true to your calling. After many many hours spent in the lab performing painstaking research and complicated tests, you finally reached your goal and were finally able to prove that bacon is the cure for all the ills of the world. In my dream you won the Nobel Prize for everything including awesomeness.
Virgo - You have worked hard to mold the raw material of your world into the tone poem that is now your life. Yours is a habitat of soft colours, pleasing shapes, and clean lines. So what the f@*# is up with the new neighbours and their orange house? It's in your face every time you walk out your front door. The previously serene glow of your evenings now resembles the aftermath of a nuclear mushroom cloud. You can't make it go away, but you can pull the blinds and use the back door.
Libra - Here's a new game I'd like you to try. First, write a Resume for the person you believe you self to be. List the experience, education and past success or failure that has led you to become who you are today. Now use bold, italic, and colour to format it so that it highlights the areas you're proudest of; the ones you want others to notice first. Next, change the default language setting on your computer and run spell check. Talk about seeing your self from a whole new perspective!
Scorpio – Sometimes on a weekend, I’ll stay in the house, reading, writing, painting, sleeping, and eating without ever setting foot outside of the condo or speaking to another living being. It can be really difficult to get back into the world on Monday morning and I frequently find myself completely unable to utter a word until after my second cup of coffee. And you know what? It’s okay to let everybody else carry the conversation for a while.
Sagittarius – Apparently the Hug Shirt is about to hit stores. The concept boggles my mind. Ideally there are two shirts – one for you and the other for the object of our affection. Then, through the magic of blue tooth you can use your cell phone to digitally transmit a hug to your partner’s shirt. Ahhhhh, how sweet! The opportunities for abuse are endless but if I were you I’d make sure my own number was the only one on speed dial.
Capricorn – It’s sometimes tricky to distinguish the difference between passionate focus and down right madness. The message is often more important than the expression but not always. For instance, say Gandhi and Tom Cruise exchanged M.O.’s and one ranted about peace while the other starved for love – which one would be more credible, and which one would you believe?
Aquarius – I used to have a friend who had a rural address and the first time I visited, the directions were to drive south on Highbury and turn left at the cows. Said bovines inhabited one spot from about 7am to 4pm every day and I was dropping by for a late dinner. I was very hungry by the time I arrived. So what does this mean to you? Forget about the cows and look for an actual landmark.
Pisces – Did you know that hamsters are all world class athletes? Yup; you think they just run around on those wheels because they’re stupid but guinea pigs and gerbils aren’t geniuses and they don’t run on wheels. So, how come you’ve never heard of a famous hamster marathoner? Performance anxiety – they over rehearse and lose all confidence. Don’t be a hamster.
Taurus – You know they say that saving a drowning person may be the hardest type of rescue to pull off....believe it or not drowning people often fight to get away from their would be heroes. You're advised to throw them a rope or hand them a pole or do just about anything but touch them. Otherwise you run the risk of going down with them. You're a hands on kinda person though so I advise you to take another path - knock them unconscious and drag them to shore.
Gemini - You are normally a fine juggler but lately your left hand hasn't known what your right was doing and you've been shy of tossing anything up in case you can't catch it. Well the good news is that this week the gravity gets turned off and you'll get all four hands back in sync. The down side is that you can't decide whether to go back to flinging apples, bowling balls or flaming chainsaws. What the heck, why not try one of each?
Cancer – Once in a while we are wise take our selves through the process of weeding out. We get rid of the things that are only taking up space in our lives; clothes we’ve outgrown, books we’ll never read again, records we haven’t listened to in years. Most often the hardest things to lose are not things but thoughts. Spend the next few days in the basement of your memories, but prepare to let some of it go.
Leo - I had a dream the other night that you were a scientist - not world re-knowned or even very well funded, but passionate about your research and determined to be true to your calling. After many many hours spent in the lab performing painstaking research and complicated tests, you finally reached your goal and were finally able to prove that bacon is the cure for all the ills of the world. In my dream you won the Nobel Prize for everything including awesomeness.
Virgo - You have worked hard to mold the raw material of your world into the tone poem that is now your life. Yours is a habitat of soft colours, pleasing shapes, and clean lines. So what the f@*# is up with the new neighbours and their orange house? It's in your face every time you walk out your front door. The previously serene glow of your evenings now resembles the aftermath of a nuclear mushroom cloud. You can't make it go away, but you can pull the blinds and use the back door.
Libra - Here's a new game I'd like you to try. First, write a Resume for the person you believe you self to be. List the experience, education and past success or failure that has led you to become who you are today. Now use bold, italic, and colour to format it so that it highlights the areas you're proudest of; the ones you want others to notice first. Next, change the default language setting on your computer and run spell check. Talk about seeing your self from a whole new perspective!
Scorpio – Sometimes on a weekend, I’ll stay in the house, reading, writing, painting, sleeping, and eating without ever setting foot outside of the condo or speaking to another living being. It can be really difficult to get back into the world on Monday morning and I frequently find myself completely unable to utter a word until after my second cup of coffee. And you know what? It’s okay to let everybody else carry the conversation for a while.
Sagittarius – Apparently the Hug Shirt is about to hit stores. The concept boggles my mind. Ideally there are two shirts – one for you and the other for the object of our affection. Then, through the magic of blue tooth you can use your cell phone to digitally transmit a hug to your partner’s shirt. Ahhhhh, how sweet! The opportunities for abuse are endless but if I were you I’d make sure my own number was the only one on speed dial.
Capricorn – It’s sometimes tricky to distinguish the difference between passionate focus and down right madness. The message is often more important than the expression but not always. For instance, say Gandhi and Tom Cruise exchanged M.O.’s and one ranted about peace while the other starved for love – which one would be more credible, and which one would you believe?
Aquarius – I used to have a friend who had a rural address and the first time I visited, the directions were to drive south on Highbury and turn left at the cows. Said bovines inhabited one spot from about 7am to 4pm every day and I was dropping by for a late dinner. I was very hungry by the time I arrived. So what does this mean to you? Forget about the cows and look for an actual landmark.
Pisces – Did you know that hamsters are all world class athletes? Yup; you think they just run around on those wheels because they’re stupid but guinea pigs and gerbils aren’t geniuses and they don’t run on wheels. So, how come you’ve never heard of a famous hamster marathoner? Performance anxiety – they over rehearse and lose all confidence. Don’t be a hamster.
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Blogoscopes Week of September 10th to 17th 2007
Aries - So you're making a movie; an action movie. It has a cast of several, and you're playing all of the roles. You will don a variety of costumes, wigs and even prosthetic noses - cross dressing will feature prominently and you will play the hero, the dame, the ingenue, the sidekick, the villain, the weapons expert and the computer geek. If you instantly think Eddie Murphy, wash your brain out with bubble bath. You're not just playing these roles, you're recreating them.
Taurus - Did you ever buy something, get it home and then discover that it wasn't at all what you thought it was? I'm not talking about black in one light and navy in another, I'm talking about shelling out big bucks for a new sofa and waking up to discover an accordion nestled in your bay window. Say you did, would you try to return the accordion? If your answer is yes, where would you take it back to? The sofa store? What would happen if you kept it?
Gemini - When we're little, we ask questions all the time about everything - the favourite usually being "Why"? It's cute when we're young but then our curiosity is forced into proscribed channels and even outright discouraged as we grow older; which is a shame, not only because it can make us complaisant, but because it stops us from learning about the things we love. What kinds of questions are you asking right now?
Cancer - Here's a crazy idea....step one - take out a bank loan; step two - get to the nearest casino; step three - gamble! Kidding! All the signs say you can't lose right now, but this probably isn't the type of risk you want to be taking. What you should consider doing is closing your eyes, taking a deep breath, and opening your heart. This is the nearest you'll get to an ironclad guarantee in life so take your best shot.
Leo - You have now successfully navigated your own personal Scylla and Caribdus. You may be battered, you may be bruised, but you survived, with most of your crew intact. By all means, tend to your wounds - they'll ache for a short while to come - but please don't forget to make some time, take a step back and really look at what you've become. Sometimes you can find beauty in the strangest places. Go ahead and admire your self.
Virgo - It's back to school time and you're going into your sophomore year. You won't have the humiliating initiation rituals to get through. You already know people and you could find your way around, blindfolded. This does not make you exempt from the critical scrutiny of your peers. It will soon be time for the fall talent show and you had better make sure that you've got your act together, as well as costume, makeup and props.
Libra - I probably shouldn't tell you this - it's a plot device in my novel - but I once worked in a restaurant with a long S-curved wall that created a weird sound trap for any conversations held in one specific area of the bar, fifteen feet away. It wasn't an echo; it sounded eerily as though the speakers were whispering in your ear. Every word was clear as a bell. I could never easily warn clients at the bar, but I can warn you - duck!
Scorpio - At least once a day I stop to consider the lemming. Guess what? They DON'T mindlessly commit annual mass suicide; which is a big weight off my mind. What actually happens is the natural depredation that follows a growth spurt - in any species. So, you're going off the cliff no matter what, but it's a short drop. It should administer a jolt sharp enough to wake you up without making your whole life flash before your eyes.
Sagittarius - I don't know if you've made out your will or not, but if you have or if you're considering it, here's a suggestion; don't leave your treasure map to anyone!!! For one thing, that's your treasure and never meant for anyone else's enjoyment; for another, letting someone know that they'll profit from your death is soooo not a good idea. You still need a map though, cause your goodies are buried deep and you know what your memory is like.
Capricorn - You find a lottery ticket on the floor of the cab on your way home from a party this week, and it turns out to be a winner. You want to wait a while before you turn in that ticket and claim your prize. You're afraid someone else will step forward with a story about a lost winning ticket, and more than a little concerned about who will come knocking for a loan. For now, just savour what it feels like to know that you're already really rich.
Aquarius - How cool would it be to be Barbie? You'd be a style icon, a valuable collectible, the subject of heated feminist debate - so, life as usual, but if you were Barbie you could be all that and have a giant corporation constantly working to make you even more appealing and to give you all the toys, trinkets and glam clothes you could ever want. Insert universe for corporation and here are the keys to your Barbie Dream House.
Pisces - Gulliver's Travels is a satire of incredible subtlety written by Jonathan Swift - which you don't really need to know to be aware that for part of his journey Gulliver was larger than everyone else and for another part he was smaller than everyone else - extremes of relative power. You know that feeling and you also know that it is equally difficult to be the biggest person or the smallest. This week, negotiate your middle way.
Taurus - Did you ever buy something, get it home and then discover that it wasn't at all what you thought it was? I'm not talking about black in one light and navy in another, I'm talking about shelling out big bucks for a new sofa and waking up to discover an accordion nestled in your bay window. Say you did, would you try to return the accordion? If your answer is yes, where would you take it back to? The sofa store? What would happen if you kept it?
Gemini - When we're little, we ask questions all the time about everything - the favourite usually being "Why"? It's cute when we're young but then our curiosity is forced into proscribed channels and even outright discouraged as we grow older; which is a shame, not only because it can make us complaisant, but because it stops us from learning about the things we love. What kinds of questions are you asking right now?
Cancer - Here's a crazy idea....step one - take out a bank loan; step two - get to the nearest casino; step three - gamble! Kidding! All the signs say you can't lose right now, but this probably isn't the type of risk you want to be taking. What you should consider doing is closing your eyes, taking a deep breath, and opening your heart. This is the nearest you'll get to an ironclad guarantee in life so take your best shot.
Leo - You have now successfully navigated your own personal Scylla and Caribdus. You may be battered, you may be bruised, but you survived, with most of your crew intact. By all means, tend to your wounds - they'll ache for a short while to come - but please don't forget to make some time, take a step back and really look at what you've become. Sometimes you can find beauty in the strangest places. Go ahead and admire your self.
Virgo - It's back to school time and you're going into your sophomore year. You won't have the humiliating initiation rituals to get through. You already know people and you could find your way around, blindfolded. This does not make you exempt from the critical scrutiny of your peers. It will soon be time for the fall talent show and you had better make sure that you've got your act together, as well as costume, makeup and props.
Libra - I probably shouldn't tell you this - it's a plot device in my novel - but I once worked in a restaurant with a long S-curved wall that created a weird sound trap for any conversations held in one specific area of the bar, fifteen feet away. It wasn't an echo; it sounded eerily as though the speakers were whispering in your ear. Every word was clear as a bell. I could never easily warn clients at the bar, but I can warn you - duck!
Scorpio - At least once a day I stop to consider the lemming. Guess what? They DON'T mindlessly commit annual mass suicide; which is a big weight off my mind. What actually happens is the natural depredation that follows a growth spurt - in any species. So, you're going off the cliff no matter what, but it's a short drop. It should administer a jolt sharp enough to wake you up without making your whole life flash before your eyes.
Sagittarius - I don't know if you've made out your will or not, but if you have or if you're considering it, here's a suggestion; don't leave your treasure map to anyone!!! For one thing, that's your treasure and never meant for anyone else's enjoyment; for another, letting someone know that they'll profit from your death is soooo not a good idea. You still need a map though, cause your goodies are buried deep and you know what your memory is like.
Capricorn - You find a lottery ticket on the floor of the cab on your way home from a party this week, and it turns out to be a winner. You want to wait a while before you turn in that ticket and claim your prize. You're afraid someone else will step forward with a story about a lost winning ticket, and more than a little concerned about who will come knocking for a loan. For now, just savour what it feels like to know that you're already really rich.
Aquarius - How cool would it be to be Barbie? You'd be a style icon, a valuable collectible, the subject of heated feminist debate - so, life as usual, but if you were Barbie you could be all that and have a giant corporation constantly working to make you even more appealing and to give you all the toys, trinkets and glam clothes you could ever want. Insert universe for corporation and here are the keys to your Barbie Dream House.
Pisces - Gulliver's Travels is a satire of incredible subtlety written by Jonathan Swift - which you don't really need to know to be aware that for part of his journey Gulliver was larger than everyone else and for another part he was smaller than everyone else - extremes of relative power. You know that feeling and you also know that it is equally difficult to be the biggest person or the smallest. This week, negotiate your middle way.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Blogoscopes Week of September 3rd to September 10th, 2007
Aries - Imagine that you are stranded on an island all alone. You have food, shelter, fresh water; the climate is temperate, the sea is clear and serene and everywhere you look you see lush greenery, exotic flowers and strange birds and animals - animals that have never before seen a human and are not at all afraid of you. Which is a good thing because you're stuck here for a while and you can't always be talking to yourself. Who knows, maybe you can learn their language; or you can teach them yours. Communicate any way you want.
Taurus - You know how whenever a teacher asks if anyone has any more questions, seventy-five percent of students will hold their breath, avoid eye contact and pray that no one does. Well anyway at least 75% of the people I know would. The other 25% is comprised mainly of Taureans. In an ideal world everybody would be clamoring for knowledge and hanging around after class but in this one can we just agree that the extra curricular stuff is your job and you can catch us all up over a beer later on?
Gemini - Often if we go to bed with pressing issues on our mind, the answer to whatever predicament we face will come to us in the form of a dream. Sometimes, solutions appear to us fully formed; other times they provide clues to a puzzle that must be solved. With the right know-how we are capable of having a dialogue with our unconscious. You should write these things down immediately - they provide clues to the waking world. Although, this morning my dream diary said potato boat so I guess not everything has a deeper meaning.
Cancer - So you're travelling in a country where they don't speak your language and you don't understand theirs. Now, I know that it may be a little expensive to hire an interpreter, but don't you think you should at least consider a phrase book? Your idea of enrolling in immersion classes after your return is an interesting approach, but it's hardly going to help you get a cup of coffee now is it? Charades will go a long way toward facilitating communication, but maybe you should just stop asking for stuff, relax and see what the natives bring you.
Leo - Humans communicate in a variety of different ways - words, visual images, music, body language, and, louder than all others, actions. The things we do speak volumes about who we are, and, unlike words, our actions are less equivocal; less likely to be misinterpreted. So, don't trust the message of your heart to dodgey poetry, mucky paintings or interpretive dance. Now is the time for the magnificent gesture. Skywriting perhaps? Something that gets you on the Jumbo-tron? It's all about drama so let your creative juices flow.
Virgo - You know that old Abbott and Costello routine? Who's on first yada, yada, yada...? Stupidest thing I ever heard. The mis-communications that happen in real life are far subtler and twice as funny; some of it will even stay fresh and amusing over several repetitions. After a while, however, these personal malapropisms become stale and cliche; sometimes they even lose their meaning. Keep an eye on your audience this week. Are they still laughing or do they look confused and pitying? Maybe you should consider hiring a press secretary.
Libra - Yesterday I was sipping a glass of sauvignon blanc and when the server asked how it was I said 'gorgeous'. He thought that was a great word. It's just the latest in a long line of superlatives that I've adopted over time; like verbal ticks that describe my world. For a while everything will be gorgeous, and then fantastic, and then amazing, and then stunning and then brilliant, and then maybe back to gorgeous....and my point is, maybe you and I both need to find new words - words that still have meaning - to describe the good things in life.
Scorpio - Everyone hears a voice in their head; whether they admit it, or are even aware of it, the voice is there. It doesn't mean you're crazy, it does not mean you're sick, and you don't need treatment. Now if there are multiple voices, or if the voices start telling you to do stuff you might want to rethink treatment. Not pills, electro-shock or substance abuse, but you might want to consider therapy - not for you but for your voices. Listen to them, let them talk it out, but don't talk back. Remember no one else can hear them, people will think you're crazy.
Sagittarius - Is it possible to walk down the street while you're laughing really, really, hard? Imagine being hit with a fit of the giggles as you climb the stairs - how far would you make it? Roaring, howling, guffawing, hooting, snorting, pissing yourself, laughing your head off...all of these things I think would slow, if not stop any progress you might make in any one particular direction. And is that such a bad thing? Life has a funny old way of making us slow down and there are worse ways to do it then making you laugh.
Capricorn - You're in a Steeler's Wheel kind of place; stuck in the middle - of a stampeding herd of buffalo and a cliff. It's the proverbial disaster sandwich with you as filling. Now would maybe be a good time to take up hang gliding, or base jumping, or even pearl diving; doesn't really matter what it is or whether you're prepared for it or not; the buffalo aren't stopping, the cliff isn't moving and you are going to arrive at that brink sooner or later and the choice will have to be made in a heartbeat - don't be scared, just be ready.
Aquarius - Apparently, psychic crime investigators are a very hot item these days, if the number of TV shows dealing with the subject are any indication. I blame it on Uranus in Pisces. The concept of being able to see the future, to have access to special knowledge, to be able to see the 'truth' about things, about people, is a very seductive one. If I were you I wouldn't go changing my career just yet, even though you do have a very special vision and you'd make a fine detective. You just have not yet mastered your medium (teehee).
Pisces - One of the most ridiculous trends in reality TV has got to be the rash of diet shows; obese men and women struggling with their weight in full view of the North American viewing public. Oh sure, they pretend that they do it to be an encouraging role model for others but is that honestly it? Isn't the reality, that this is their way to get attention? to get famous? So do you want to be famous? I'm not saying you need to diet, I'm just saying it's that simple. Decide what the world would want to watch you doing, and do it.
Taurus - You know how whenever a teacher asks if anyone has any more questions, seventy-five percent of students will hold their breath, avoid eye contact and pray that no one does. Well anyway at least 75% of the people I know would. The other 25% is comprised mainly of Taureans. In an ideal world everybody would be clamoring for knowledge and hanging around after class but in this one can we just agree that the extra curricular stuff is your job and you can catch us all up over a beer later on?
Gemini - Often if we go to bed with pressing issues on our mind, the answer to whatever predicament we face will come to us in the form of a dream. Sometimes, solutions appear to us fully formed; other times they provide clues to a puzzle that must be solved. With the right know-how we are capable of having a dialogue with our unconscious. You should write these things down immediately - they provide clues to the waking world. Although, this morning my dream diary said potato boat so I guess not everything has a deeper meaning.
Cancer - So you're travelling in a country where they don't speak your language and you don't understand theirs. Now, I know that it may be a little expensive to hire an interpreter, but don't you think you should at least consider a phrase book? Your idea of enrolling in immersion classes after your return is an interesting approach, but it's hardly going to help you get a cup of coffee now is it? Charades will go a long way toward facilitating communication, but maybe you should just stop asking for stuff, relax and see what the natives bring you.
Leo - Humans communicate in a variety of different ways - words, visual images, music, body language, and, louder than all others, actions. The things we do speak volumes about who we are, and, unlike words, our actions are less equivocal; less likely to be misinterpreted. So, don't trust the message of your heart to dodgey poetry, mucky paintings or interpretive dance. Now is the time for the magnificent gesture. Skywriting perhaps? Something that gets you on the Jumbo-tron? It's all about drama so let your creative juices flow.
Virgo - You know that old Abbott and Costello routine? Who's on first yada, yada, yada...? Stupidest thing I ever heard. The mis-communications that happen in real life are far subtler and twice as funny; some of it will even stay fresh and amusing over several repetitions. After a while, however, these personal malapropisms become stale and cliche; sometimes they even lose their meaning. Keep an eye on your audience this week. Are they still laughing or do they look confused and pitying? Maybe you should consider hiring a press secretary.
Libra - Yesterday I was sipping a glass of sauvignon blanc and when the server asked how it was I said 'gorgeous'. He thought that was a great word. It's just the latest in a long line of superlatives that I've adopted over time; like verbal ticks that describe my world. For a while everything will be gorgeous, and then fantastic, and then amazing, and then stunning and then brilliant, and then maybe back to gorgeous....and my point is, maybe you and I both need to find new words - words that still have meaning - to describe the good things in life.
Scorpio - Everyone hears a voice in their head; whether they admit it, or are even aware of it, the voice is there. It doesn't mean you're crazy, it does not mean you're sick, and you don't need treatment. Now if there are multiple voices, or if the voices start telling you to do stuff you might want to rethink treatment. Not pills, electro-shock or substance abuse, but you might want to consider therapy - not for you but for your voices. Listen to them, let them talk it out, but don't talk back. Remember no one else can hear them, people will think you're crazy.
Sagittarius - Is it possible to walk down the street while you're laughing really, really, hard? Imagine being hit with a fit of the giggles as you climb the stairs - how far would you make it? Roaring, howling, guffawing, hooting, snorting, pissing yourself, laughing your head off...all of these things I think would slow, if not stop any progress you might make in any one particular direction. And is that such a bad thing? Life has a funny old way of making us slow down and there are worse ways to do it then making you laugh.
Capricorn - You're in a Steeler's Wheel kind of place; stuck in the middle - of a stampeding herd of buffalo and a cliff. It's the proverbial disaster sandwich with you as filling. Now would maybe be a good time to take up hang gliding, or base jumping, or even pearl diving; doesn't really matter what it is or whether you're prepared for it or not; the buffalo aren't stopping, the cliff isn't moving and you are going to arrive at that brink sooner or later and the choice will have to be made in a heartbeat - don't be scared, just be ready.
Aquarius - Apparently, psychic crime investigators are a very hot item these days, if the number of TV shows dealing with the subject are any indication. I blame it on Uranus in Pisces. The concept of being able to see the future, to have access to special knowledge, to be able to see the 'truth' about things, about people, is a very seductive one. If I were you I wouldn't go changing my career just yet, even though you do have a very special vision and you'd make a fine detective. You just have not yet mastered your medium (teehee).
Pisces - One of the most ridiculous trends in reality TV has got to be the rash of diet shows; obese men and women struggling with their weight in full view of the North American viewing public. Oh sure, they pretend that they do it to be an encouraging role model for others but is that honestly it? Isn't the reality, that this is their way to get attention? to get famous? So do you want to be famous? I'm not saying you need to diet, I'm just saying it's that simple. Decide what the world would want to watch you doing, and do it.
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