Sunday, May 31, 2009

Blogoscopes Week of June 1 to 8, 2009

Aries - No matter how many times you show up with a bruised forehead, no one is going to believe that a wall attacked you. You have been throwing yourself relentlessly at something that will not budge and no amount of spin can make you less culpable. Try saying Abracadabra and then be ready when the wall falls down.

Taurus - We all need to feel attachment to something outside of ourselves, but lately you fear that your well being is negatively impacted by these external forces and that makes them seem more like shackles than connections. The remedy? Jump from your chair, shout Eureka! and head to the nearest party.

Gemini - This week Lady Luck spins her wheel and you find yourself sitting at the top of the world with an infinity of choice laid out before you. Don't get lost in the view, there's an opportunity here that must not be missed. Anything you do now is bound to succeed so take all the chances you want just don't forget to say thanks.

Cancer - Nobody likes a back seat driver. The time will come when your map reading skills will be needed, but for this leg of the road trip you are relegated to watching for service stops and keeping your face out of the rear view mirror. Use this time to hunt for treasure under the seat.

Leo - Sandbox spat or global war, conflict is destined to dwindle into a never ending battle of "aretoo/amnot" and name-calling - unless! What factors are capable of ending the stalemate? One is the crushing of one party by the brute strength of the other. You need to figure out the other one for yourself.

Virgo - Every gardener knows that if you want the fruits and flowers to flourish you have to be vigilant in warding off the weeds and weevils. There is a rich crop in your backyard, and it's sitting ready to be harvested. Only a few more feet of nettles to annihilate and you're there. Sharpen your scythe!

Libra - When you go swimming, what is it that stops you from sinking to the bottom like a stone? It really takes no effort so perhaps it's simply the belief that you're floating that keeps you buoyant. This week you find out whether the same faith can help you dive to the bottom and back up.

Scorpio - Sometimes children believe that if they can't see you then you can't see them. As a survival strategy it sucks, but as a coping mechanism it's definitely got its up side. For the next little while, pretending that what you can't see won't hurt you will allow you to focus on what you need to do.

Sagittarius - You are immaculate in minding personal boundaries, but you can be careless in how you trod on others. You may be confusing the source of your sensitivity and offending when you mean to defend. It's inappropriate to indulge in a crying jag at the office or to work on a spread sheet while making love.

Capricorn - Stop second guessing yourself! The time is ripe for you to step up and do what has to be done. Use the natural authority you possess and it will make others amenable to following you; or you can give in to fear and indecision and waffle about letting everyone walk all over you.

Aquarius - Someone is pouring out their heart to you and the way in which you respond will have a huge impact on your immediate future. You really should be actively listening or you'll find yourself answering the wrong question and offending some one dear to you. This is why people think you're weird.

Pisces - You know better than to ask if your butt looks big in those pants. You've learned from previous experience that prodding a sore tooth is not your best course of action. You don't need to give in on every front, but sometimes biting your tongue is less painful than the alternative.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Blogoscopes Week of May 25 to June 1, 2009

Aries - There is absolutely no point in making all kinds of plans for you and your sweetheart this week. No matter what you do, something will come up at the last minute and force a change every single time. What you end up doing will be better so save yourself the bother, relax and just let summer start to happen.

Taurus - You're planning a surprise for someone special. You've been saving for it and you're just about ready to break the piggy bank. Consider this - someone special will appreciate this even more if you let them contribute. Surprise them with the idea and the split the tab! Now there's a win/win situation if ever I saw one.

Gemini - There is a cheese souffle cooking in your head. You know that souffle is a delicate dish and there's a lot riding on this souffle - which is why you have to stop opening the oven door to check on it every thirty seconds. Leave the souffle alone and step away from the oven. Set a timer and have a nap.

Cancer - Every great blues artist arrives at "the crossroads" at some point in their lives, but usually just once. There should be only one crossroad in life; the rest are just tough choices and little dramas. Don't fret about a decision - this is not your biggie, just a chance for some review and planning.

Leo - It's the conundrum of self-help gurus everywhere - how much do you charge for your services? Too much and no one buys, too little and you feel used. Plus, the whole time, you're asking yourself when they're going to figure it all out for themselves. I'll just say let your conscience be your guide.

Virgo - You're trying to remove one piece of clothing from the closet and suddenly every hanger in there is having a love in. I think they do it on purpose just to get some attention. Hangers are something we own but never think about. Spending just a little time with your hangers this week can prevent an uprising.

Libra - It's important to draw safe boundaries around yourself so that you're protected; however, crime scene tape may be going a bit far. Do you know what a pentagram is? Got any sparklers left over from last weekend? Light the latter, draw the former and don't forget the incense.

Scorpio - You know those people who run marathons and things, do you ever wonder if about half way through they say to themselves "what the f#@* am I doing?" I'm not sure what keeps them going but you better find some of that for yourself - at least until next Monday - that's your current finish line.

Sagittarius - Who says you can't? Do you believe them? Why? Or why not? There might have been a time when you couldn't but not now. Now you have whatever it is you need to do whatever it is you want. Ah there's the catch. What do you want? Maybe that's what 'they' think you can't do.

Capricorn - Practice your poker face - a lot! Seriously you are going to need it because the good times you anticipate are about to get pretty wild. It's safe to say you'll be caught off guard and while startled, surprised, and even a little frightened are all on the expressions menu, smug is not.

Aquarius - Exercise your telekinetic powers in the coming days. That way, when you close your eyes, instead of making wishes for it to all go away, you can be using the power of your mind to remove the obstacles from your path. Whether someone else actually does this while your eyes are closed I can't say.

Pisces - Consider making space in your calendar this week to paint your bathroom electric blue. Interesting things can happen when you mix water and electricity and this is far safe than bathing with your toaster. A coat of paint won't fry you,but it will give your heart a charge all the same.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Blogoscopes Week of May 18 to 25, 2009

Aries - The parade is starting and you have to decide which position you want to occupy as the procession winds along the street. Be warned, the options are not limitless. In fact you no matter how much you want to bang the bass drum, wave from the convertible or ride a horse, your choices are two - drum major or poop sweeper. There are pros and cons to each and yes it really is your choice.

Taurus - Imagine yourself dining at a very expensive restaurant with a large group of people - some you know well, others are strangers. You have a little too much wine - just a little - and doze off at the table after dinner. Luckily no one notices until you wake up screaming "save the parsley". You, who are usually so grounded may be having trouble staying in the moment.

Gemini - These are deep waters you're swimming in, and you immediate reaction might be to call for an air sea rescue chopper - whoa up there pardner, can we just remember how you got here? Still waters run deep & they make excellent mirrors. The next time you stop to admire yourself, remember what lies beneath and wear some sort of flotation device - maybe water wings.

Cancer - Just when it seemed as though you would never do it, you finally found your spotlight and your voice. You seize the moment, boldly and succinctly state your case, and then run and hide. Nice bit of stage direction there. Everyone gasps with shock as you appear to disappear. I think you could say you've made your point. At least no one will stop talking about it for quite some time.

Leo - It seems as though it's finally your turn. You've worked hard and overcome obstacles to get here and now the sun is back, the clouds have parted and it is your time to shine. The only downside is that all around you people are standing in corners and whispering; friends, family and strangers in groups both small and large. The worst part? They're not talking about you.

Virgo - You're an earth sign and it's fitting that for you the turning of the seasons is closely connected to nature. So it's spring time you're checking the yield on what you planted last fall. Are you harvesting and enjoying the fruits of your labours or reaping and ruing what you sowed? Better work that one out before you lay down the seeds for summer and fall.

Libra - Feeling under attack in some fundamental way? Are you defending yourself by shouting "are too" at everyone, or are you plugging your fingers in your ears and singing Kumbaya? A happy medium exists somewhere & you will need some rather strange help in reaching it, but this week it will be possible for you to find that balance and even to hold it. Are you really prepared to try?

Scorpio - Everything is so much better once you give up hope. Sounds negative doesn't it? Just try to keep in mind that as humans, we are prepared to 'hope' for the things that we know - for the safe, the routine, the things we've been told are right and true. In that case, giving up hope means giving up on some old, useless preconceived notions. Are you ready to give up?

Sagittarius - This is going to be big; a larger than life, stupendous show-stopper and it's going to be all yours. You need some backing and a little faith, but no one seems prepared to share your vision. In fact, they seems intent on forcing their visions on you. The nerve of some people. Can't they see that you visions are superior? Can you see that your visions are superior?

Capricorn - Here's an exercise for you that should keep you sane this week. Every morning, before you have your coffee, stretch out on your yoga mat, face down, forehead on the ground. Breath deeply and feel your diaphragm expand. Now, exhale, screaming like a 2 yr old at the ice cream shop, pounding the floor with your hands and feet. Carry on for a full minute, repeat as needed.

Aquarius - The difference between a caper and a crime is how you feel about the perpetrator. The same criteria defines who's the recipient of humour and who's the butt of a joke. I would therefore suggest that you consider this - before you pull what you believe to be a harmless and amusing prank, ask yourself if your target likes you. That should give you some indication of how they will react.

Pisces - You've got a full slate and normally you'd be on top of getting all of this done. Lately, though, you find your mind wandering to green and sunny pastures, picking imaginary daisies and then scrambling to catch up with the real world. New word for the week - delegate; easier than you think. Find an audience and clearly explain your wishes. Then watch the magic happen.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Blogoscopes Week of May 11 to 18, 2009

Aries - So the fickle finger of fame is no longer pointing at you. You would be okay with this if the finger were perhaps broken, or if it had disappeared altogether. The thing that is bothering you is that the finger is fine thank you very much, it has just moved on to point at someone else. Buck up - think of all the things you can get away with while no one is looking.

Taurus - Many things are coming to fruition for you and many more are just beginning. Knowing you, this of course means that there are at least sixteen other things in your life which are partially complete - or partially begun depending on your point of view. Before the curtain rises on a shiny new scheme, cast an eye over your to-do list and see which ones you're still partial to.

Gemini - This week should be a snap for your ruler as the universe asks you to talk your way in to trouble. Well, not really trouble - let's just say it's something your grandmother would have called trouble. It won't be too easy - you'll have to talk fast and say the right things but if trouble were simple everybody would be in it wouldn't they?

Cancer - Start mumbling. Or tell everyone you know that you're learning to speak Icelandic. Or come up with your own strategy. You'll need something to cover up when you make a slip in an intimate moment this week. While you're memorizing 47 ways to say iceberg you can puzzle out the answer to why you made this slip and why now?

Leo - Wake up! Oh sorry you were awake. Yet you seem to believe that you're dreaming. You're doing a lot of edgy, even dangerous things, and doing them all with a silly grin on your face and a thousand mile stare in your eyes. If you fly in dreams do you fly in real life? Who knows? The point is you're not dreaming and the sooner you realize it the better.

Virgo - There are two kinds of stubborn in the world - mules and Virgo's. Although to be fair, Virgo's aren't so much stubborn as they are just-not-listening-to-you. Deaf to the so-called voice of reason, you, Virgo, can more easily enjoy being naughty. Is it fearlessness or insanity? You're ignoring the consequences while never losing sight of your goal. Bravo.

Libra - Ooooh, Libra, the winds of change are ablowin', howling around the eaves, oooh! Fortunately by the time they get to your place they'll have died down to the breezes of whatever. You should feel safe to step outside for a breath of air. A lot of pretty cool stuff is headed your way so for now, just enjoy the weather.

Scorpio - There's a ritual being enacted here; a clearing out of old things, useless ideas, destructive habits and unhealthy connections. Okay, so really you're just spring cleaning, but that's still a tradition. It might take you a little longer than it does others, but you do a much more thorough job. At least we hope so because there's something scary behind your stove.

Sagittarius - Please promise that over the coming days you will ignore any sudden urges to play with sharp objects and electrical outlets - this includes forks and toasters and has a special dispensation to include a ban on combining bathtubs and electricity. You won't do any physical harm to yourself, the danger is you'll fall in love with with your blender.

Capricorn - This week at one of those excruciatingly dull social events you feel compelled to attend, an angel will come to you and whisper in your ear, stories of a beautiful land where you are worshipped for your grace, wit and charm; a land of tranquility and wealth. Ahhhhh.....of course you'll come to and realize you volunteered for something horrible, but who cares?

Aquarius - The phrase ships that pass in the night is used to describe a negative - regret for something lost. If they didn't pass, wouldn't they just crash into one another? Apparently there are other options; friendly gestures with bells and beacons; still there's also boarding by pirates. To be on the safe side ships should keep their distance but maintain eye contact.

Pisces - Don't pretend to want anything other than what you really really want. Going along just to get along will not get anybody very far. You're an adult right? Dealing with other adults? Okay then, just come out and say what it is that you're feeling and what you want. Oh heavens don't explain why, nobody but you needs to know your motivation for any of this.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Blogoscopes Week of May 4 to 11, 2009

Aries - Nobody was even looking at you until you started screaming "it wasn't me". A certain sign of guilt one would thing, yet strangely no one seems to be taking you seriously. Best of both worlds really, you've confessed, no one can say you haven't, and it would seem that you have escaped retribution.....or have you? Better look for a way to work off some karma.

Taurus - One cannot be in any doubt - you strongly believe that this project someone has been telling you about is a crock. It will never work, it's a pipe dream and what is required is less naval gazing more hard work. If it's such a sure fire flop, why are you so determined to help out? Oh that's right you're getting paid for this....right? You better get something out of it.

Gemini - You are very good at convincing others to see things your way. To your detriment, you are all too aware of how talented you are in this area. You might be getting a bit slack. You can't just step up to the plate and expect to hit it out of the park every single time - unless of course you are able to bring the same passion, openness and wonder to every inning that you did to the first.

Cancer - You know where you want to be in life and what you hope to accomplish, but some days you wake up wondering. Is this where you thought you'd be at this time in life? Is this where you want to be? Are you on the right path? Heaven knows there's nothing like an early morning bout of existential angst to kick off the week. Stop worrying and go eat some breakfast.

Leo - You may have inadvertently led someone to expect something from you that you have no intention of giving. When I say inadvertently I mean that you were so caught up in the moment, the energy, the magic that you lost your normal discretion and well let's just say we all hope the results don't end up on-line. It's not a question of right or wrong, just ownership. You had fun, admit it and move on.

Virgo - If you were looking for a needle in a haystack, would you use a flashlight or a super high intensity spotlight? Logically, the brighter light would give you a greater chance of success. But the smaller light would give you more focus. If you have to filter an entire stack of hay wouldn't it be easier to do it bit by bit rather than all at once?

Libra - During the course of your lifetime, you have developed a finely honed means of dealing with those who would thrust their needs upon you. This week add listening to that repertoire. Not because they're right, but because you need to discover why they think it's okay to treat you like this. Then you can update your defense mechanism. Knowledge is power my dear; get it, grow it, use it.

Scorpio - Surprise! Oh shit, you hate surprises. Unexpected events are unplanned and unplanned means you're not in charge and then who knows what will happen! Chaos and running amok are likely outcomes. Things cannot be allowed to just happen willy-nilly like this! Okay simmer down. Are you sure this was a complete surprise? Didn't some part of you know this would happen? So it's kind of like you planned it.

Sagittarius - Wouldn't it be nice if every day you could walk out of your same familiar door and into a whole brand new world? And then wouldn't it be lovely if at the end of every brand new day you could walk right back in through that well-known door and be home? Well guess what? You can. In fact you do, every single day, you just have to look for it. Find something fresh in the familiar.

Capricorn - This week, your mission, should you choose to accept it is to find a way to incorporate your dreams into your life on both a personal and a professional level. Dreams and visualisations are good ways to manifest the love and success you crave but there's a time and place. Figure something out before you find yourself shouting 'yes Rhett Butler I will marry you' in the middle of a meeting.

Aquarius - Do you feel that you're living someone else's life? There's a sense of clothes not fitting right, things not being where you left them, stuff you don't own showing up in your underwear drawer. It pisses you off, and you would really like it very much thank you if who ever was playing silly-buggers with your life would just stop. Um, you might want to check the mirror one more time.

Pisces - You woke up this morning and discovered that you suddenly have the most amazing singing voice and the ability to dance like Fred Astaire. This is fantastic. this changes everything. Oh, except you have to go to work. No, you have to, even if you make it onto a reality show you won't be famous in time to pay the rent. Yes it sucks, but you have to find a way to become famous in your off hours.