Blogoscopes Week of October 22nd to 29th, 2007

Aries - This week if you're late for stuff don't apologize and don't give reasons. Let people wonder what you were doing and where you've been; it has a huge cool factor.

Taurus - For the next few days please don't wear striped socks because if a house falls on you you'll look like the Wicked Witch of the West and I'm still creeped out by that visual.

Gemini - Finish your thoughts. When you start a sentence mid thought and then zoom off on random tangents people don't understand you, they're only nodding to be polite.

Cancer - It's really hard to catch a greased pig, which is part of the joy of the - I don't know do you call it a sport? - anyway as long as you don't expect results, just enjoy the game.

Leo - Bank loan or booty call, this is the time to be using other people's stuff; whether it's money or body parts they'll ante up. Careful, interest rates are high.

Virgo - Leather patches are not just for elbows anymore. You can sew them on pockets, knees, hats, even collars. Cut them in heart shapes before you start basting them on.

Libra - You know how sometimes airlines lose your luggage? Fly now and your luggage will get there and you'll be re-routed. Stop talking with your mouth full.

Scorpio - Geek is the new sexy. If ever anything pointed to a male dominated society this is it. The good news is that horn rims and a pocket protector can get you laid.

Sagittarius - What would happen to MarineLand if all the dolphins joined a meditation class? Flipper sits on the bottom of the pool blowing "om" shaped bubbles.

Capricorn - You find proof that the person in your mirror is not a reflection but an actual separate, living being. Either that or you're a vampire. Any way you can't see yourself.

Aquarius - You had too much to drink last night and woke up to a phone ringing and someone banging on the door. Time to scream "get lost" and go back to dreaming.

Pisces - You get a Halloween suggestion cause I know you need a little lead time. Dress up as Edgar Bergen and find somebody to sit on your lap and do your talking for you.