Aries – Here’s a theme for a party I want you to throw. Ask your friends and family to dig through their personal photo collections. Go beyond the recent and probably digital, get them to trawl through all those boxes of snaps stashed away in basements, attics, garages and closets. You do the same. Enjoy the reminiscences by all means, but there is something in particular you’re looking for – a laughing group of people having a really good time, and one clown in the background doing something distracting – bunny ears, funny faces, odd gestures – everybody has at least one of these. My guess? In the photos you are about to amass, the clown in the back is almost always you
Taurus – This is the time of year when many religious and spiritual venues (like churches) decorate with harvest fruits – fragrant bales of hay, colourful gourds and bright ears of corn, sheaves of grain and flame hued leaves. They act as a tithe, an ancient portion to the gods, and a reminder of all we should be thankful for; at one time this was also a necessary storage option, and today is a cheap and cheerful source of home décor items. Winter darkness is approaching and now is the perfect time to stockpile for hibernation and also to inject a little life into your home environment. And can I just say that letting your cat give birth to a litter in your sock drawer is not what I have in mind.
Gemini – Ever find yourself in a situation where you realize that you have accidentally and in all innocence, said something that is embarrassing, possibly offensive? Worse, having recognized your mistake you probably began to talk too much in an effort to apologize and of course this exacerbates the problem. Before you know it you feel like a complete idiot, people are staring, you’re starting to stutter but somehow you just can’t shut-up. So your ruler Mercury has just straightened up after a three week retrograde and you woke up this morning spouting confused apologies to everyone in sight. Would it help if I said no one remembers what you said in the first place?
Cancer – The thing about sci-fi fantasy stories that makes them so appealing to so many of us is the way they use ancient, universal archetypes to explore everyday themes. The original Star Wars movies were Greek theatre; and just think about the number of times you saw togas on Star Trek. Also, who can forget the clash of the Titans as exemplified by the South Park version of Godzilla versus Mothra, starring Barbra Streisand and Robert Smith of The Cure? It took Leonard Maltin to save the day – surreal, but meaningful. So what does all of this portend for you? First off, lighten up; not everything is drama; and second, no more late-night burritos.
Leo – First semester of college one of my dorm mates talked in her sleep. This went beyond random and non-sequential night mumbles, because she spoke only when spoken to, and always in fully coherent, complete sentences. You could tell her your deepest darkest secrets, ask for her advice on the most embarrassing problems, receive her wisdom/absolution and be completely certain that she would never remember a word of it. In daylight you couldn't mention this. She was a Leo and hated to feel that her words might be misconstrued or misused, but hey she made more sense unconscious than she did when she was awake. Sometimes you just gotta spit it out.
Virgo – I’m Internet challenged as I write so I can’t tell you the exact number of brand new automobiles that roll off assembly lines around the world every day, but I can tell you that it’s too many. Why is this? And how come they keep getting more expensive? Car prices don’t seem to be subject to the laws of supply and demand. Oh sure, many manufacturers are starting to develop environmentally friendly vehicles, and that’s great, but it’s still going to take a life time to replace all the cars that are already on the road never mind new ones . So why not stop making more cars and give those earth friendly inventions a chance to catch up? Is it time for a garage sale?
Libra – Ever heard of snake oil sales men? They were purveyors of concoctions of dubious ingredients and spurious efficacy who were none the less quite successful at selling their wares. How could this be you ask? They spoke to that most human of all emotions, fear of the unknown. They used the language of facts, and science to promise protection from that unknown. They also very often lived an itinerant life and were long gone by the time their unsuspecting customers could realize that they had been duped. Sounds like a paradigm for the democratic election process. Your message is sincere and genuine, but that shouldn't stop you from copying their style.
Scorpio – You’re usually a bit of a trend spotter. I’m not saying you always embrace the cutting-edge; after all you’re not much of a follower. Nor am I saying that you’re a trend setter because heaven knows most people don’t have what it takes to carry off your style. You do, however, have a discerning sensibility and keen eye for those things that the meeker majority will eventually embrace although you’re the only one who currently sees the attraction. Don’t lose faith in your ideas just because no one else is able to see what you do. If all visionaries gave up that easily we wouldn’t have things like Karaoke TV and there would be a lot less music in the world.
Sagittarius – Dreams – we all have them even if we don’t remember them, and what we do in dreams is a good indicator of our waking hopes and fears, and being able to translate your night time inspirations into day time actions is like finding an extra room in your house. Much has been written about how your waking actions affect your dreams – it’s like sleeping with intent – but what you need to do is find a way to carry your dream energy out into the world. Hang on to that dreamy feeling, and defer interacting with other people until after 2 pm. No need to go as far as Hef has, but a few days spent in your pajamas might help. And, for one week, don’t comb your hair.
Capricorn – Scariest thing in the world is the freshly sober person embracing a new outlook with the confidence of a drunk, and the determination of an addict. Net result is an individual with the evangelism of a born again virgin and absolutely no fear. They will say anything, do anything and share it all. It’s always a toss up – are they inspired or insane? If you hang around for the homily will you find yourself with a bad case of vertigo? If you walk away shaking your head will you always wonder? Whichever you choose, never give one of these kooks your phone number or even your real name – sincere or not, they’re all stalkers.
Aquarius – I hate reality shows. I despise the “contestants” who participate in them. Why? Is it the fact that most of them are trying to get something for nothing? Or am I just freaked out by the number of people who feel the need to broadcast their boring little lives to the world. And their lives must be REALLY boring if they’re prepared to be this humiliated for money. Famous for being famous is a job description. Can the on-line courses for a degree in Meaningless Celebrity, be far behind? But I digress, what I really dislike about reality shows, is the viewers who believe that this virtual peep show is a viable relationship. This week, touch as much real stuff as you can; real people too.
Pisces – I wish I had the nerve to shave my head and wear wigs. Okay I really wish you had the nerve to shave your head and wear wigs. An extreme change in hair colour or style can make you look and feel like a whole new person so imagine what it would be like to wear different hair every day. Think how you’d feel if this coming Wednesday you could be a curly red head, go blond braids on Thursday and short green tresses on Friday. How would your life be changed if your hair was a blue bob? What would your dreams and ambitions be if your crowning glory was purple dreads? What if red-headed-you had to execute plans made by blond-you? Expand your repertoire at all?
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