Aries - Best Gift: Handheld GPS Unit so you don't have to worry about where you're going. New Year's Resolution: Watch your posture. Dancing will correct that stoop.
Taurus - Best Gift: A crate of pink glow sticks so that wherever you go things look rosy. New Year's Resolution: Join a local choir. Your voice needs to be heard.
Gemini - Best Gift: A loom - the tedium of the shuttle creating the warp and woof of beautiful fabric. New Year's Resolution: Less planning, more daydreaming.
Cancer - Best Gift: A puppet theatre - a taste of power and a chance to speak the unspeakable. New Year's Resolution: Say 'no' more often and mean it.
Leo - Best Gift: Trapeze lessons - perfect the art of putting your feet up - also a pound of licorice. New Year's Resolution: Improve self-esteem - yes really.
Virgo - Best Gift: Tap shoes so you can begin to save the world through interpretive dance. New Year's Resolution: Let other people do some of the work.
Libra - Best Gift: Local phrase book, so you can understand what the people around you are saying. New Year's Resolution: No more mixing of booze and pranks.
Scorpio - Best Gift: Gold plated 'Get Out of Jail Free' card - wear it everywhere. New Year's Resolution: Audition for role on 24, learn to use chopsticks.
Sagittarius - Best Gift: Wii American Idol - find out if you've truly got what it takes. New Year's Resolution: Get tuxedo from dry cleaners, buy martini shaker.
Capricorn - Best Gift: Binoculars so you can clearly see what's right under your nose. New Year's Resolution: Spend more time looking down nose.
Aquarius - Best Gift: A two headed coin insures there's absolutely no way you can lose. New Year's Resolution: Stop compulsively checking bank balance.
Pisces - Best Gift: Personal dirigible with your name blazoned on the side - perfect for buzzing around town. New Year's Resolution: Wear more red.
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