Aries - Are you old enough to remember Pet Rocks? In 1975 they were a zany fad promoted as an ideal zero maintenance pet. Seen from this angle they were the thin edge of the wedge that introduced us to the emotional cowardice we now call irony, a pathology of perfection and programmable relationships. In fact we could probably draw a line from Pet Rocks through Tamagotchis to Blackberrys. True there are more buttons to push these days, but wouldn't you rather spend time with someone/thing that could push back? And has, like a pulse maybe?
Taurus - You can't say enough about the importance of a good wheel man in pulling off a successful heist - no use what so ever in white collar crime or the long con, but essential to your average bank robbery. Hollywood loves them because car chases can be very sexy. Do you remember anything about The Italian Job other than the Minis? While a speedy get away vehicle is no doubt important, if your aider and abettor is loyal and intelligent you could escape on a pogo stick. And you just might have to, so conspire carefully.
Gemini - In 1983 Pope John Paul II abolished the centuries old tradition known as the Devil's Advocate. The God's Advocate apparently survived the cut. These two used to argue both sides of any case for canonization and since the 80's there has been a 500% increase in 20th century saintings and a 1300% rise in beatification. Maybe there was a backlog, but I think it was a mistake that sounded the death knell of democracy and justice. After all if a saint can't stand up to the scrutiny then who can? Discuss.
Cancer - I'm almost afraid to tell you this but it is now possible for you to fulfill your dream of travelling in outer space. It's not quite astronaut status but it's closer than you ever truly hoped you might be, and the only science you have to know is cartoon physics - don't look down. You can bet your own butt that the sponsors have got their asses covered from one end of the galaxy to the other and so should you. Faith in your fantasy is one thing, being tricked into joining some sort of space cult is another all together. Can't wait to see who wins.
Leo - I'm not sure I see any real advantage to the end of the cold war do you? There must still be spying and stealing and skull-duggery being committed. The majority of the nefariousness is probably virtual or at least digital and dullullull. It is up to you to engineer the return of the classy spy. Model yourself on The Avengers - the quietly opulent lifestyle, the devil-may-care insouciance and the love of their work that was so strong it allowed them to be comfortable taking orders from a fat man named Mother. Passion is not just sexy, it's also subversive.
Virgo - It seems weird that "glad-handing" - which sounds as though it should be a lot of fun - has nothing but negative connotations attached to it. It would make a great euphemism for all kind of stuff if it weren't synonymous with the slimy and the self serving in all walks of life . What if you really could spread gladness with a touch? Would you do it? Where would you start? How would you go about doing it without looking creepy? Maybe you better just forget it, glad-handing is just doomed to eternal sleaziness.
Libra - Have you ever thought about what it would be like in a flotation room? They used to be called sensory deprivation tanks but the actual process is a lot more involved than either name would suggest. Apparently you have to train for it. Well duh! I'd hate to think what would happen if you just got into one of these things and shut the lid. Oh sure, who doesn't think it would be magic to shut out the world for a little while, but do you really think you're ready to shut it off? It's one way to find out if you have gotten over your trust issues.
Scorpio - Hollywood loves the over-the-top space spectacular. Who could seriously resist creating something that uses language like event horizon, future light, hyper/turbo everything or my personal favourite, escape velocity? Causal pasts, actual pasts, ditto futures...the modern descriptors of concepts so old and so powerful that to name them is to call them. I bet the first person to return from a black hole will be a Scorpio. Just in case, why don't you think about the words you might use to describe your own hyper-future-event-velocity.
Sagittarius - Inside each of us is something that believes it knows what we are capable of being. Consisting of equal parts id, ego, super-ego and soul, it is what is known in medical parlance as "The Mass of Contradictions". It causes each of us to believe strongly that we could do this, would do that, will fail at one and are frightened of the other, all the while earnestly praying that we will never be tested. Well sharpen your pencils for a pop quiz. Check all that apply. I still truly deeply madly believe that I.....
Capricorn - In your opinion which character has more fun, Gotham City's most eligible bachelor, Bruce Wayne, jillionnaire industrialist, man about town, bon-vivante and fashion icon or; Batman, the misunderstood hero with a mission, a passion for justice, a hot car and a butt that looks good in tights? For a moment let's forget bat signals vs business deals, bat mobiles vs limousines and social events vs social justice and concentrate on the clothes. What sort of a fashion statement would your alter ego make?
Aquarius - If there's a server out there who hasn't at one time been embarrassed to realize that you just set a menu in front of a blind person, then I'd like to hear from you. Yesterday as I walked along Queen West, headphones firmly in place, volume cranked, a beggar with a white cane held his hand out to me. Without even thinking I just shook my head 'No' and do you know what? He turned away. So what I'm trying to say is don't knock the programming, it can save your ass. Trust in yourself because in the weeds no one can hear you scream.
Pisces - I'm pondering the evolution of the tableau vivante; first there is an event, which is then re-enacted by live models so that it can be immortalized in a painting which is in turn re-enacted by live models in order to immortalize....painting or event? This weekend saw the unveiling of a 21st century tableau vivante, The Two Coreys. Assuming Lost Boys was the event, re-enacted in ensuing movies creating a meme (which is kind of like an oil painting) so that makes this current project....? Well at least it's not a reality show!
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Blogoscopes Week of July 16th to July 23rd 2007
Aries - Maybe this is obvious, but I think that the kinds of super heroes we worship - as individuals and in groups - say as much about the things that we fear as they do about what we dream. Our heroes overcome what makes us cower, embody the qualities to which we most aspire, and fight their battles on a field so epic we feel only it's echo. Do you want to know the real secret behind being a successful super hero? Knowing when to leave - and yes, super heroes always have to leave.
Taurus - Ooooh I love a good voyage to the underworld; in fact I'd say that at least one is essential to any life story worth telling - or living for that matter. The borderline between this world and that is often invisible and suddenly we can be falling ass over teakettle into an inky void. Right now you may be confused by the fact that your path appears to be illuminated and you can see clearly what's ahead. Don't be fooled into thinking you're Diogenes carrying a torch of truth - chances are more likely you're the canary in a coal mine.
Gemini - I seriously question the efficacy of anything that claims to be dual purpose; camera/phone, shampoo/conditioner, singer/drummer - it just doesn't seem possible for both things to be done well at the same time. The only exception that comes to mind is chainsaw juggler/tightrope walker. A person couldn't afford to suck at either of them and the challenge of one would add to the excitement of the other. I gotta say though that your decision to work without a net may be taking things a bit too far.
Cancer - Do you know why I love the BBC? Because unlike other television stations, their website contains such features as 3D spinning views of sea monsters that have been extinct for tens of millions of years - one of which is currently grasping your ankle in an attempt to yank you under. Check out the Grand Orthocone cause you're definitely in the grip of something much closer to the top of the food chain than you are. Not to worry - just keeping bobbing and shouting - the Sun will be up soon and that's when all monsters let go.
Leo - Do you know how to make yourself invisible? It's a little bit like being certain nobody sees you, but not so sneaky. And I'm sure it doesn't appeal to you even a little bit. You don't just like to be seen, you need it. Which is`why you are just a tad cranky at the moment, because it seems as though people are not just unable to see you, they're unwilling. Notice I said seems - odds are that it's you who's not seeing things clearly - everyone else is simply unable to gaze directly upon your wonderful shininess.
Virgo - You're not one to underestimate the power of a grand entrance. You are, however, almost phobic about anything ostentatious. No one knows better than you that there is a fine line between being the centre of attention and being a laughing stock. Don't fret - even though all eyes are currently on you, no one will mock because at least fifty percent of them are watching in admiration as you receive your award for a job well done, and the other fifty percent are holding their breath waiting to see what you'll do next.
Libra - I used to have a friend who kept Piranhas. More than a little bit hideous, they still managed to be fascinating and their Friday night feedings became social rituals for the small group of weirdos I hung with then. There was something chilling about watching as each of the goldfish was devoured. They appeared completely unaware, but I wondered if there was ever a moment when the last one thought 'I don't have a good feeling about this'. My advise to you right now is just keep swimming, and yes, in circles if you have to.
Scorpio - I recently came across the equation "time = distance divided by speed". That raises a couple of questions for me, the first of which is does sitting still stop time? The second question is, how do you determine a value for speed without reference to time? Because I've also encountered the equation "speed = distance divided by time" So if, as it seems, both time and speed are relative, what does that mean for the equation "distance = time multiplied by speed"? Is life really nothing more than a run on the hamster's wheel?
Sagittarius - So the offers are starting to pour in from the tabloids, the professional journals and the full colour glossies - Oprah will be calling any day now. But here's the thing - you've always worn your integrity like a merit badge and there is a part of this cheap fame that really seems like a corruption of all that you stand for. If you're just selective about where you sell out it'll be fine right? And do you have what it takes to say no to Oprah? There's not much I can say here, if you really did have Big Foot's baby you should probably own up to it.
Capricorn - Everybody has heard of the backyard barbecue - in North America that is. It's a ritual, a celebration, the thing we dream of during our snowy hibernation. The first warmish day of the year finds the air filled with the aroma of searing meat. July is a good time for you to start a new ritual - the front yard barbecue. Why hide away behind your house? Celebrating in full view has several benefits - first, you'll meet all your neighbours, probably even make new friends, and second the old friends are less likely to misbehave in full view of the world.
Aquarius - I saw a bit on Yahoo this week about a woman who lives in an 84 square foot home which she built herself. Eco friendly and portable, it's like a fairy tale cottage capable of manoeuvring through space. Your dream home doesn't need to be this small; it needn't be on wheels; it doesn't necessarily need to exist in this universe or time continuum. At best though, it should be something you created for yourself that is just the right size to contain only what you truly need. So...do you know what your dream home looks like?
Pisces - Everything is relative, relatively speaking. Tricky concept for someone like you who is more at home with the concrete, but if you are prepared to waffle just a little on what constitutes actual really real reality I think you'll find that you like it. To wit...if you're currently having difficulty accepting that what you thought was up is really down and vice versa, how about this - concentrate on believing that anvils are lighter than air and that the average twelve inch balloon weighs about two hundred pounds.
Taurus - Ooooh I love a good voyage to the underworld; in fact I'd say that at least one is essential to any life story worth telling - or living for that matter. The borderline between this world and that is often invisible and suddenly we can be falling ass over teakettle into an inky void. Right now you may be confused by the fact that your path appears to be illuminated and you can see clearly what's ahead. Don't be fooled into thinking you're Diogenes carrying a torch of truth - chances are more likely you're the canary in a coal mine.
Gemini - I seriously question the efficacy of anything that claims to be dual purpose; camera/phone, shampoo/conditioner, singer/drummer - it just doesn't seem possible for both things to be done well at the same time. The only exception that comes to mind is chainsaw juggler/tightrope walker. A person couldn't afford to suck at either of them and the challenge of one would add to the excitement of the other. I gotta say though that your decision to work without a net may be taking things a bit too far.
Cancer - Do you know why I love the BBC? Because unlike other television stations, their website contains such features as 3D spinning views of sea monsters that have been extinct for tens of millions of years - one of which is currently grasping your ankle in an attempt to yank you under. Check out the Grand Orthocone cause you're definitely in the grip of something much closer to the top of the food chain than you are. Not to worry - just keeping bobbing and shouting - the Sun will be up soon and that's when all monsters let go.
Leo - Do you know how to make yourself invisible? It's a little bit like being certain nobody sees you, but not so sneaky. And I'm sure it doesn't appeal to you even a little bit. You don't just like to be seen, you need it. Which is`why you are just a tad cranky at the moment, because it seems as though people are not just unable to see you, they're unwilling. Notice I said seems - odds are that it's you who's not seeing things clearly - everyone else is simply unable to gaze directly upon your wonderful shininess.
Virgo - You're not one to underestimate the power of a grand entrance. You are, however, almost phobic about anything ostentatious. No one knows better than you that there is a fine line between being the centre of attention and being a laughing stock. Don't fret - even though all eyes are currently on you, no one will mock because at least fifty percent of them are watching in admiration as you receive your award for a job well done, and the other fifty percent are holding their breath waiting to see what you'll do next.
Libra - I used to have a friend who kept Piranhas. More than a little bit hideous, they still managed to be fascinating and their Friday night feedings became social rituals for the small group of weirdos I hung with then. There was something chilling about watching as each of the goldfish was devoured. They appeared completely unaware, but I wondered if there was ever a moment when the last one thought 'I don't have a good feeling about this'. My advise to you right now is just keep swimming, and yes, in circles if you have to.
Scorpio - I recently came across the equation "time = distance divided by speed". That raises a couple of questions for me, the first of which is does sitting still stop time? The second question is, how do you determine a value for speed without reference to time? Because I've also encountered the equation "speed = distance divided by time" So if, as it seems, both time and speed are relative, what does that mean for the equation "distance = time multiplied by speed"? Is life really nothing more than a run on the hamster's wheel?
Sagittarius - So the offers are starting to pour in from the tabloids, the professional journals and the full colour glossies - Oprah will be calling any day now. But here's the thing - you've always worn your integrity like a merit badge and there is a part of this cheap fame that really seems like a corruption of all that you stand for. If you're just selective about where you sell out it'll be fine right? And do you have what it takes to say no to Oprah? There's not much I can say here, if you really did have Big Foot's baby you should probably own up to it.
Capricorn - Everybody has heard of the backyard barbecue - in North America that is. It's a ritual, a celebration, the thing we dream of during our snowy hibernation. The first warmish day of the year finds the air filled with the aroma of searing meat. July is a good time for you to start a new ritual - the front yard barbecue. Why hide away behind your house? Celebrating in full view has several benefits - first, you'll meet all your neighbours, probably even make new friends, and second the old friends are less likely to misbehave in full view of the world.
Aquarius - I saw a bit on Yahoo this week about a woman who lives in an 84 square foot home which she built herself. Eco friendly and portable, it's like a fairy tale cottage capable of manoeuvring through space. Your dream home doesn't need to be this small; it needn't be on wheels; it doesn't necessarily need to exist in this universe or time continuum. At best though, it should be something you created for yourself that is just the right size to contain only what you truly need. So...do you know what your dream home looks like?
Pisces - Everything is relative, relatively speaking. Tricky concept for someone like you who is more at home with the concrete, but if you are prepared to waffle just a little on what constitutes actual really real reality I think you'll find that you like it. To wit...if you're currently having difficulty accepting that what you thought was up is really down and vice versa, how about this - concentrate on believing that anvils are lighter than air and that the average twelve inch balloon weighs about two hundred pounds.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Blogoscope Week of July 16th to July 23rd 2007
Aries - Guess what, guess what?!? That boy/girl/bot you've been crushing on is (metaphorically speaking) currently on an extended road trip and you know what that means? You can safely break in to his/her/its secret lair without fear of being discovered. Dress yourself in head -to-toe black (see what I did there?), dust off your cat burglar gear (nobody looks hotter than you in night vision goggles), establish a false trail (or at least an alibi) and start snooping. There's no rush: poke through every drawer, cupboard and pocket in the place. Heck you've got time to pull up the floorboards. Now be honest: what are you hoping to find?
Taurus - Is there a difference between doing something embarrassing and having something embarrassing done to you? Do you get embarrassed if nobody but you knows that it happened? Oh I think you do. In fact, I believe that recalling prior, private peccadilloes is worse than being caught red-faced in the moment: hence the human impulse to reveal our deepest secrets and darkest shames to the nearest stranger. Our sins need to be witnessed - preferably by someone who doesn't hang around. This week, assume your actions were caught on a public camera somewhere and just keep your mouth shut.
Gemini - Do you understand the Doppler effect? Me either, but apparently it's the reason for the wah wah effect of a siren as it speeds past you. What if, instead of speeding past, the siren does a few quick laps around the block? Does the wah wah become a steady whine? Like the dotted line on the road does it blur into a never ending noise? Hmm, I wonder if it's never really that the past comes back to haunt us, but that we just bump into our own echoes as we speed around in the same circles? If you feel as though you're repeating yourself, you're not - it's just Doppler.
Cancer - It's one thing to be cast in shade and another altogether to live on the boundary of the spotlight, the penumbra of another's glow. Fortunately you're a clever promoter who knows exactly how to capitalize on every little bit of light. Wear something sparkling with your biggest and brightest smile and even when you're simply hovering in the wings all eyes will be drawn to you. Plus, being partially cloaked in the mysterious dark is very sexy. Just take care not to get caught in the full glare - you're not really dressed for it and a speech will be expected.
Leo - I'm a huge fan of those decorating makeover shows where the experts go into someone's home and make it saleable or even simply liveable. Where and how we live says a lot about who we are and it is absolutely amazing how some people seem to have blinkers on when it comes to how unlovely their residences are. You have to ask your self how they got there and why they've stayed? Are they afraid to live well? Is decorating really rescue therapy? And what happens once the film crews are gone?
Virgo - if bigger is better how come a pie isn't better than a tart? There may be more of it but it doesn't taste any better. In some cases it may not taste as good. Take a butter-tart for example. Chock full of those lovely nuts and raisins and all that gooey sugar goodness that oozes out when you bite into them and drips onto your fingers and all over your hand so you have to lick every finger twice to get rid of the sticky. And unlike pie, you don't need a fork to eat a tart. The one good thing about pie is that you can share. I dare you to make a good butter-pie.
Libra - If you could choose to have a special, magical or super power for 24 hours what would it be? Pretend that at the end of that 24 hours everything would return to what it had been and only you would remember the experience. I guess which power you choose would depend on what it is you want to learn. Don't waste time wishing for invisibility - tomorrow everyone else will have forgotten what they've seen - just focus on what you want to know and whether or not your cape should match your tights.
Scorpio - So you're at this party and everybody you know is there plus a few you've never met. It's hot and smoky and the music is a heartbeat - just your kind of soiree. You slip out the back for a breath of fresh air and find yourself doing a solo performance of the last act of Macbeth for the benefit of an audience of smokers. Just as you begin your signature pantomime of Macduff's Caesarian birth, your foot breaks through the lid of the box you're standing on and you find a million dollars. How much do you give to charity?
Sagittarius - You know what would be a really cool job for you? Saint! Yep, you could pretty much live however you want and they'd be falling all over themselves to look after you. You wouldn't have to go out if you didn't want to because people would make pilgrimages to see you and leave money in jars all over your house. You'd never have to walk because your um..er...fans? followers? would carry you every where. You might have to sneak around a little to avoid getting your canonization revoked but come on, what's a little intrigue if it makes life easier?
Capricorn - A man's home is his castle. It's the 21st century and so the same must be said of women. Of course more and more often our castles are a few hundred square feet of Legoland sameness with all the personality of a prison cell: and just about the same amount of privacy. If you value your reputation - and you do value your reputation - it is important to you that your castle is not only a clear statement of your personal taste, but also that it remains impervious to the assault of the hoi polloi. In other words, don't let the drunks take over your gazebo.
Aquarius - If you were a commodity being traded on the stock market, what would you be? Precious metals, oil & gas, real estate, or currency? What would your share price be? Has your value increased or decreased? Do you know why? Would you advise somebody to buy or sell you right now? Do you even have any sense of your own value? What about parts, do you have any idea how much your parts are worth? Can't hurt to have an idea, you know in case you ever have to sell an organ or something.
Pisces - There's a lot of interest in Fair Trade in these globally aware times. Well I say forget the trade, what about just plain fairness? Who doesn't understand the idea that what goes around comes around? Wouldn't it be nice if every once in a while you got a little more Instant Karma? Do something really nice for someone else and immediately someone would do a similar nice thing for you. Action/Reward So I buy you an MP3 player better than the one you've got, and somebody buys me a better MP3 player than the one I've got. Wanna go shopping?
Taurus - Is there a difference between doing something embarrassing and having something embarrassing done to you? Do you get embarrassed if nobody but you knows that it happened? Oh I think you do. In fact, I believe that recalling prior, private peccadilloes is worse than being caught red-faced in the moment: hence the human impulse to reveal our deepest secrets and darkest shames to the nearest stranger. Our sins need to be witnessed - preferably by someone who doesn't hang around. This week, assume your actions were caught on a public camera somewhere and just keep your mouth shut.
Gemini - Do you understand the Doppler effect? Me either, but apparently it's the reason for the wah wah effect of a siren as it speeds past you. What if, instead of speeding past, the siren does a few quick laps around the block? Does the wah wah become a steady whine? Like the dotted line on the road does it blur into a never ending noise? Hmm, I wonder if it's never really that the past comes back to haunt us, but that we just bump into our own echoes as we speed around in the same circles? If you feel as though you're repeating yourself, you're not - it's just Doppler.
Cancer - It's one thing to be cast in shade and another altogether to live on the boundary of the spotlight, the penumbra of another's glow. Fortunately you're a clever promoter who knows exactly how to capitalize on every little bit of light. Wear something sparkling with your biggest and brightest smile and even when you're simply hovering in the wings all eyes will be drawn to you. Plus, being partially cloaked in the mysterious dark is very sexy. Just take care not to get caught in the full glare - you're not really dressed for it and a speech will be expected.
Leo - I'm a huge fan of those decorating makeover shows where the experts go into someone's home and make it saleable or even simply liveable. Where and how we live says a lot about who we are and it is absolutely amazing how some people seem to have blinkers on when it comes to how unlovely their residences are. You have to ask your self how they got there and why they've stayed? Are they afraid to live well? Is decorating really rescue therapy? And what happens once the film crews are gone?
Virgo - if bigger is better how come a pie isn't better than a tart? There may be more of it but it doesn't taste any better. In some cases it may not taste as good. Take a butter-tart for example. Chock full of those lovely nuts and raisins and all that gooey sugar goodness that oozes out when you bite into them and drips onto your fingers and all over your hand so you have to lick every finger twice to get rid of the sticky. And unlike pie, you don't need a fork to eat a tart. The one good thing about pie is that you can share. I dare you to make a good butter-pie.
Libra - If you could choose to have a special, magical or super power for 24 hours what would it be? Pretend that at the end of that 24 hours everything would return to what it had been and only you would remember the experience. I guess which power you choose would depend on what it is you want to learn. Don't waste time wishing for invisibility - tomorrow everyone else will have forgotten what they've seen - just focus on what you want to know and whether or not your cape should match your tights.
Scorpio - So you're at this party and everybody you know is there plus a few you've never met. It's hot and smoky and the music is a heartbeat - just your kind of soiree. You slip out the back for a breath of fresh air and find yourself doing a solo performance of the last act of Macbeth for the benefit of an audience of smokers. Just as you begin your signature pantomime of Macduff's Caesarian birth, your foot breaks through the lid of the box you're standing on and you find a million dollars. How much do you give to charity?
Sagittarius - You know what would be a really cool job for you? Saint! Yep, you could pretty much live however you want and they'd be falling all over themselves to look after you. You wouldn't have to go out if you didn't want to because people would make pilgrimages to see you and leave money in jars all over your house. You'd never have to walk because your um..er...fans? followers? would carry you every where. You might have to sneak around a little to avoid getting your canonization revoked but come on, what's a little intrigue if it makes life easier?
Capricorn - A man's home is his castle. It's the 21st century and so the same must be said of women. Of course more and more often our castles are a few hundred square feet of Legoland sameness with all the personality of a prison cell: and just about the same amount of privacy. If you value your reputation - and you do value your reputation - it is important to you that your castle is not only a clear statement of your personal taste, but also that it remains impervious to the assault of the hoi polloi. In other words, don't let the drunks take over your gazebo.
Aquarius - If you were a commodity being traded on the stock market, what would you be? Precious metals, oil & gas, real estate, or currency? What would your share price be? Has your value increased or decreased? Do you know why? Would you advise somebody to buy or sell you right now? Do you even have any sense of your own value? What about parts, do you have any idea how much your parts are worth? Can't hurt to have an idea, you know in case you ever have to sell an organ or something.
Pisces - There's a lot of interest in Fair Trade in these globally aware times. Well I say forget the trade, what about just plain fairness? Who doesn't understand the idea that what goes around comes around? Wouldn't it be nice if every once in a while you got a little more Instant Karma? Do something really nice for someone else and immediately someone would do a similar nice thing for you. Action/Reward So I buy you an MP3 player better than the one you've got, and somebody buys me a better MP3 player than the one I've got. Wanna go shopping?
Sunday, July 08, 2007
JBlogoscopes Week of July 9th to July 16th, 2007
Aries - There was a torrential rain at one point this morning - drops coming down so thick and fast I could barely see into my neighbour's bedroom window. One of those tiny white moths was flying through it and apparently making headway. When your life story is written in days and weeks you don't let a little water slow you down. Now I'm picturing you sitting there in beautiful white clothes, holding that perfect flower and just waiting. And even though you're a half hour early you are still convinced that you've been stood up. So why are you still sitting there?
Taurus - I was reading today about this woman in the states who has successfully pulled off four bank robberies all while talking on her cell phone. Never talks to the teller, just hands over a note, takes the money and leaves, while apparently continuing her phone conversation. This is crazy, ballsy and rude all at the same time. If you're planning a bank heist in the near future you'll have enough to do evading security, checking escape routes and ensuring the money is not tagged or sequentially numbered to be multi-tasking. Eye on the prize Taurus, eye on the prize.
Gemini - I've often heard people say that good things come in small packages: usually the kind of people who are tall for their age, get cars for their birthdays and are - in reality - proponents of the bigger is better theory of life. Condescending tw*ts! Tell them to stand up straight, stop talking down to you and hand over the keys. It's good to be challenged to stretch and to grow but you're never going to get a chance if everybody is always bending over backwards to lower your horizons. If you want what they've got you'll get it and if not then they are obviously mutant freaks who can be ignored.
Cancer - Toward the end of the 1970's it became popular for the so-called intellectuals, the credible and the cultured to poo poo the clothes, the music and the attitude of the disco culture. Mostly these snobs were barefoot, shaggy ex-hippies trying to gain tenure in some AR university post. But after all, what did they expect? They gave an entire generation access to an exotic new pharmacopoeia and then started shouting at them. When you can't hear anything over the music, and you can't lip read by strobe light then you might as well give in and dance.
Leo - It's good to be a team player. It is arguably better to be the captain of the team, but right now that only applies if you are a mentor who is loved not a taskmaster who is feared. Because I'm telling you that only true affection will continue to cover your ass while you gaze off into space. Building castles in the sky is one thing, but lingering to over see the painting and decor is something only your most devoted sycophants will tolerate. You're covered for the moment but if you're still wearing the thousand mile stare come 5 o'clock, someone is bound to notice.
Virgo - It's a sad comment on the entertainment industry but lately it feels like they're just calling it in. Some one's seven year old has been running the studios since last year's 'Bring Your Kid to Work Day' and even he/she is starting to get a little stale. Certainly accounts for the popularity of toilet humour doesn't it? Most scripts telegraph the plot so we always know who lives/dies, stays/goes, wins/loses. And no matter what the choices, they're always black and white. It may not bear much resemblance to reality, but still...don't look under the bed.
Libra - Well there's no denying that you can't get out now. The way it looks from here is that you dove in with your eyes clamped shut, holding your nose. Not a belly flop, but a cannonball - not even a body of water really, and yet you've still managed to splash a few by-standers. Not to worry, those people won't be there when you surface. You haven't really gotten 'in' to something so much as you are passing through it. So stop struggling to figure out which way is up - relax and sink down. Sooner than you think, you will come out safely on the other side.
Scorpio - So Lord Byron is supposed to have been this really hot, handsome, passionate, brooding, womanizer who seduced all the ladies and maybe a few of the men. His poetry, the vicissitudes of his relationships, his financial difficulties and his early death have all made his name synonymous with tragic and romantic. Maybe it's just me but I think the guy was a self absorbed moocher. Cynical? Maybe, but I think it's a good idea to stand back a bit when we look at somebody this big. Get perspective. Anyway how's your life?
Sagittarius - I spend a ridiculous amount of time on line - for a reason. Oh yea, I am randomly looking at stuff but I do have a purpose; and I think I may have discovered Internetomancy - the art of predicting the future based on websites. For instance, today I was feeling a little overwhelmed by all of the information I've managed to collect on travelling. I'm wondering if any of it will actually be helpful to me, and if I should continue to look for more. And then the Internet gave me my answer. Some times too much is too much and you just have to stop.
Capricorn - Are turtles happy? Probably the only way you'll ever know is to become very close friends with one and ask it. You can't read any expression on their little faces and if you Google them you get pop lyrics and cartoons. Turtles move through life at their own pace: equally at home on land and in the water, they may guard their eggs but they abandon the hatchlings. Even those little red-eared pet things can live to be 40. So no kids, no mortgage, no stress - you don't need to ask any one - turtles are happy!
Aquarius - I've already told some of you about my experience last week working with clay on the wheel for the first time. It was fun and messy and grounding and in the end I have two bowls and one hand built platter which I will glaze this week. I'm not sure but I think that's a two stage process. Basically I've gotten myself involved in an intricate creative process that results in me owning my own hand made pottery - me, the one who plans to start living out of a suitcase. This is where creativity and reality meet - try to make it as smooth as possible.
Pisces - This week's episode is brought to you by the letter U: umiak, u-turn, umbilical cord, umbrella, undecided, unsettled, ulcer and unhinged. If you could only have one letter, U would be a good one to have. You could turn it upside down and sit on it, hold it over your head if it rained, store stuff in it, cook in it, or drink out of it. This week is going to be a little unplugged so I'd suggest that U find new ways to use your favourite letter.
Taurus - I was reading today about this woman in the states who has successfully pulled off four bank robberies all while talking on her cell phone. Never talks to the teller, just hands over a note, takes the money and leaves, while apparently continuing her phone conversation. This is crazy, ballsy and rude all at the same time. If you're planning a bank heist in the near future you'll have enough to do evading security, checking escape routes and ensuring the money is not tagged or sequentially numbered to be multi-tasking. Eye on the prize Taurus, eye on the prize.
Gemini - I've often heard people say that good things come in small packages: usually the kind of people who are tall for their age, get cars for their birthdays and are - in reality - proponents of the bigger is better theory of life. Condescending tw*ts! Tell them to stand up straight, stop talking down to you and hand over the keys. It's good to be challenged to stretch and to grow but you're never going to get a chance if everybody is always bending over backwards to lower your horizons. If you want what they've got you'll get it and if not then they are obviously mutant freaks who can be ignored.
Cancer - Toward the end of the 1970's it became popular for the so-called intellectuals, the credible and the cultured to poo poo the clothes, the music and the attitude of the disco culture. Mostly these snobs were barefoot, shaggy ex-hippies trying to gain tenure in some AR university post. But after all, what did they expect? They gave an entire generation access to an exotic new pharmacopoeia and then started shouting at them. When you can't hear anything over the music, and you can't lip read by strobe light then you might as well give in and dance.
Leo - It's good to be a team player. It is arguably better to be the captain of the team, but right now that only applies if you are a mentor who is loved not a taskmaster who is feared. Because I'm telling you that only true affection will continue to cover your ass while you gaze off into space. Building castles in the sky is one thing, but lingering to over see the painting and decor is something only your most devoted sycophants will tolerate. You're covered for the moment but if you're still wearing the thousand mile stare come 5 o'clock, someone is bound to notice.
Virgo - It's a sad comment on the entertainment industry but lately it feels like they're just calling it in. Some one's seven year old has been running the studios since last year's 'Bring Your Kid to Work Day' and even he/she is starting to get a little stale. Certainly accounts for the popularity of toilet humour doesn't it? Most scripts telegraph the plot so we always know who lives/dies, stays/goes, wins/loses. And no matter what the choices, they're always black and white. It may not bear much resemblance to reality, but still...don't look under the bed.
Libra - Well there's no denying that you can't get out now. The way it looks from here is that you dove in with your eyes clamped shut, holding your nose. Not a belly flop, but a cannonball - not even a body of water really, and yet you've still managed to splash a few by-standers. Not to worry, those people won't be there when you surface. You haven't really gotten 'in' to something so much as you are passing through it. So stop struggling to figure out which way is up - relax and sink down. Sooner than you think, you will come out safely on the other side.
Scorpio - So Lord Byron is supposed to have been this really hot, handsome, passionate, brooding, womanizer who seduced all the ladies and maybe a few of the men. His poetry, the vicissitudes of his relationships, his financial difficulties and his early death have all made his name synonymous with tragic and romantic. Maybe it's just me but I think the guy was a self absorbed moocher. Cynical? Maybe, but I think it's a good idea to stand back a bit when we look at somebody this big. Get perspective. Anyway how's your life?
Sagittarius - I spend a ridiculous amount of time on line - for a reason. Oh yea, I am randomly looking at stuff but I do have a purpose; and I think I may have discovered Internetomancy - the art of predicting the future based on websites. For instance, today I was feeling a little overwhelmed by all of the information I've managed to collect on travelling. I'm wondering if any of it will actually be helpful to me, and if I should continue to look for more. And then the Internet gave me my answer. Some times too much is too much and you just have to stop.
Capricorn - Are turtles happy? Probably the only way you'll ever know is to become very close friends with one and ask it. You can't read any expression on their little faces and if you Google them you get pop lyrics and cartoons. Turtles move through life at their own pace: equally at home on land and in the water, they may guard their eggs but they abandon the hatchlings. Even those little red-eared pet things can live to be 40. So no kids, no mortgage, no stress - you don't need to ask any one - turtles are happy!
Aquarius - I've already told some of you about my experience last week working with clay on the wheel for the first time. It was fun and messy and grounding and in the end I have two bowls and one hand built platter which I will glaze this week. I'm not sure but I think that's a two stage process. Basically I've gotten myself involved in an intricate creative process that results in me owning my own hand made pottery - me, the one who plans to start living out of a suitcase. This is where creativity and reality meet - try to make it as smooth as possible.
Pisces - This week's episode is brought to you by the letter U: umiak, u-turn, umbilical cord, umbrella, undecided, unsettled, ulcer and unhinged. If you could only have one letter, U would be a good one to have. You could turn it upside down and sit on it, hold it over your head if it rained, store stuff in it, cook in it, or drink out of it. This week is going to be a little unplugged so I'd suggest that U find new ways to use your favourite letter.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Blogoscopes Week of July 2nd to July 9th 2007
Aries - OMG is Tori Spelling high all the time? I mean it; I think she might not be a total waste of skin and I would like to know how she's staying sane - if she's staying sane. I'm betting she just reached a point where she had nothing to lose, and for maybe the first time ever she got to make a choice that was all hers. Good thing one of those choices was Dean. Only so far you can get on your own.
Taurus - Can't you just picture it? Day after day seeing the same stupid mistake made over and over by the same stupid people and nothing being done to stop it. Something has to be said, but who should say it? Who should listen? And there it is - the reason the Internet was invented - so that impotent, frustrated grammarians could have a forum to air their v-e-r-r-r-y specific grievances.
Gemini - I was exploring the idea of blurt as a lifestyle when I came across these guys. Now I'm determined to see them perform when I'm in Europe. I don't care if it turns out I don't like their music. I don't care if they're not any good at all. I want to see people who live and create like this. I definitely want see the group who could inspire someone to write one of those reviews.
Cancer - Parallel universes: multiple lives spinning out, weaving reality, sometimes coinciding, always changing: all time is now: what I say today can change the past: every time I make a choice, an alternate me follows a path I have rejected. There are those who feel that these beliefs make life arbitrary and meaningless. I think they make the idea that my life belongs only to me seem ridiculous.
Leo - We live in a really strange world where the inconsequential is celebrated endlessly and those truly important moments in our lives flash past unremarked. What used to be traditions have become benchmarks: check boxes on a to do list. We gotta do more than just slow down and look at our lives as though the were car crashes. We need to create rituals: we need to share rituals.
Virgo - Did you ever see the original Batman movie with Adam West and Burt Ward? In the (arguably) best part, Batman is running around carrying a big round 'bomb' complete with hissing fuse and he's looking for a place to dispose of it. He is stymied by young lovers, baby buggies, nuns and puppies, only to finally realize that some days there's just no good place to get rid of a bomb.
Libra - It would obviously be hypocritical of me to argue against the commercialization of the spiritual. After all, I do hope to be able to make my living from what I like to think of as a screwdriver in the cosmic toolbox. What I truly despise is commodification. Their wardrobes may have changed, but there are still snake-oil sellers on the loose.
Scorpio - I have a fool proof method for determining when I've had too much to drink. If I find myself talking to my reflection that's it. Unless my reflection thinks I'm funny and then I just keep drinking. I think I may have found a better way to measure my level of inebriation - provided I'm not too drunk to type. Plus I now know how much I could drink if I was a 6'3" 250 pound male.
Sagittarius - I love language. I've bookmarked about 8 different specialist dictionaries including urban dictionary, a thesaurus and a euphemism generator. It's important to remember what words mean especially as our language evolves and mutates. When we understand meaning we can differentiate between protection and fear mongering.
Capricorn - I know it seems radical, but I'm actually starting to formulate plans for my trip to Europe. One of the things I'm doing to facilitate this is collect top ten lists. These lists are so numerous, varied and specific that they give me what is probably a specious sense of security. Hey, there are a lot worse ways to create form and contain meaning. I'm considering making a list of my favourite lists.
Aquarius - Did you know that in order for erosion to really get a toe hold and start doing damage it must start with something called rock failure. Wow, talk about pressure! And what would rock success look like? A world without the Alps or the Grand Canyon? Do you suppose that in this case success and failure are purely subjective terms with no absolute meaning?
Pisces - Okay so you have to scroll down on this site to actually see what it's about but it's worth it. It's like writing your name in the air with a sparkler. It's a gorgeous use of the dark. It's also very convincing proof that even the most fleeting beauty can leave a lasting impression. And just because you can't hold something doesn't mean it's not real.
Taurus - Can't you just picture it? Day after day seeing the same stupid mistake made over and over by the same stupid people and nothing being done to stop it. Something has to be said, but who should say it? Who should listen? And there it is - the reason the Internet was invented - so that impotent, frustrated grammarians could have a forum to air their v-e-r-r-r-y specific grievances.
Gemini - I was exploring the idea of blurt as a lifestyle when I came across these guys. Now I'm determined to see them perform when I'm in Europe. I don't care if it turns out I don't like their music. I don't care if they're not any good at all. I want to see people who live and create like this. I definitely want see the group who could inspire someone to write one of those reviews.
Cancer - Parallel universes: multiple lives spinning out, weaving reality, sometimes coinciding, always changing: all time is now: what I say today can change the past: every time I make a choice, an alternate me follows a path I have rejected. There are those who feel that these beliefs make life arbitrary and meaningless. I think they make the idea that my life belongs only to me seem ridiculous.
Leo - We live in a really strange world where the inconsequential is celebrated endlessly and those truly important moments in our lives flash past unremarked. What used to be traditions have become benchmarks: check boxes on a to do list. We gotta do more than just slow down and look at our lives as though the were car crashes. We need to create rituals: we need to share rituals.
Virgo - Did you ever see the original Batman movie with Adam West and Burt Ward? In the (arguably) best part, Batman is running around carrying a big round 'bomb' complete with hissing fuse and he's looking for a place to dispose of it. He is stymied by young lovers, baby buggies, nuns and puppies, only to finally realize that some days there's just no good place to get rid of a bomb.
Libra - It would obviously be hypocritical of me to argue against the commercialization of the spiritual. After all, I do hope to be able to make my living from what I like to think of as a screwdriver in the cosmic toolbox. What I truly despise is commodification. Their wardrobes may have changed, but there are still snake-oil sellers on the loose.
Scorpio - I have a fool proof method for determining when I've had too much to drink. If I find myself talking to my reflection that's it. Unless my reflection thinks I'm funny and then I just keep drinking. I think I may have found a better way to measure my level of inebriation - provided I'm not too drunk to type. Plus I now know how much I could drink if I was a 6'3" 250 pound male.
Sagittarius - I love language. I've bookmarked about 8 different specialist dictionaries including urban dictionary, a thesaurus and a euphemism generator. It's important to remember what words mean especially as our language evolves and mutates. When we understand meaning we can differentiate between protection and fear mongering.
Capricorn - I know it seems radical, but I'm actually starting to formulate plans for my trip to Europe. One of the things I'm doing to facilitate this is collect top ten lists. These lists are so numerous, varied and specific that they give me what is probably a specious sense of security. Hey, there are a lot worse ways to create form and contain meaning. I'm considering making a list of my favourite lists.
Aquarius - Did you know that in order for erosion to really get a toe hold and start doing damage it must start with something called rock failure. Wow, talk about pressure! And what would rock success look like? A world without the Alps or the Grand Canyon? Do you suppose that in this case success and failure are purely subjective terms with no absolute meaning?
Pisces - Okay so you have to scroll down on this site to actually see what it's about but it's worth it. It's like writing your name in the air with a sparkler. It's a gorgeous use of the dark. It's also very convincing proof that even the most fleeting beauty can leave a lasting impression. And just because you can't hold something doesn't mean it's not real.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
