Blogoscopes Week of April 6 to 13, 2009

Aries - You are on fire with a new found purpose in life. You have knowledge and insight that you feel a passionate need to share with those less fortunate and so you have decided to shine your light into previously unexplored areas of your world in order to spread the good news. Just a suggestion - don't run away to missionary school, join the circus. It's an old fashioned idea, but there is much that can be communicated with sequins and tutus.

Taurus - You seem to have opened a tour guide company called "Taurus Travel - We'll get you there or else". There's a broad time continuum involved so some of you are packing bags, forwarding mail and gearing up for take off, while the rest of you are seeking cures for jet lag and falling asleep at your desks. For those of you just leaving, relax, you've done this before and you haven't forgotten anything. For those of you just returning, you're cute when you drool.

Gemini - You were multi-tasking in the back of your cab headed west at rush hour when suddenly something shiny caught your eye and as you quickly looked left, you saw a giant, dishing out chocolate ice cream cones while riding a unicycle. You hopped out of the cab - you had to have ice cream - but forgot to pay the cabbie who chased you, shouting for his money until you handed him an ice cream cone. As you took your first taste, music began to play and everyone danced.

Cancer - Ever watched Sumo wrestling? Is it theatre? Is it actual combat? Or, is it perhaps a mixture of both? The outcome may be real but the actual battle is a bit over the top. And who decided that it should be done in diapers? You don't weigh enough to be a Sumo so you better find another fighting style. Don't back down, but it's easier to achieve a win/win situation if you knock off the theatricals.

Leo - You've been in this phase of - let's not say navel gazing, let's call it self reflection - and as you emerge from your meditations you may discover that 'self' is the only touch stone you have; nothing else seems familiar or known to you. Accustomed as you are to your own company you may not immediately realize that you are alone. This will change. Re-entry is always the hardest part; just go slowly and don't get burned by the atmosphere.

Virgo - You are caught on the horns of a dilemma. What to do, what to do? You've got the devil whispering in one ear and your dreams in the other and action seems impossible. Listen closely: first, expose and share secrets - yours and theirs: second, pay very close attention to the details of your expanding future - don't be fooled by false appearances: third and last, let go of old wrongs and injuries - retribution is so last year.

Libra - You're talking into the wrong end of the megaphone. Seriously, you're getting blasted by sound but your replies are getting lost in the air. Which is a shame because what you're saying makes wonderful sense. So do the words coming out of that loudspeaker if only you could hear them properly. Maybe a voice amplifier is not what is needed here. If you can't invent some outside-of-the-box way to hear and be heard, consider buying one.

Scorpio - You have a commendable ability to entertain yourself. You don't seem to require toys, games, books or even the company of others - you just have fun doing whatever it is that you're doing. Good for you....except that right now you might want to take a look around. You're entertaining yourself with a song and dance number while everyone else is trying to watch a movie. Best to continue your musical interlude elsewhere lest you invite unwanted aggression.

Sagittarius - Okay enough about you, let's talk about me for a while, what do I think about you? Well I think we're not really done talking about you yet. You are fascinating and there's is always something interesting going on in your life, but it might be a good idea for you to take a closer look at the impact that wonderful you is having on your environs - including people. Being right is great until it leads to being left.

Capricorn - Psst, come here where no on is listening, now let's talk about that thing on your face. Sure you can say zit - I was going for expression but we can call it a zit. If you smile does the zit magically disappear? When you're relaxing with friends is the zit less noticeable? Is there one part of your life that makes you look like ZitZilla? Now do you believe it's not a zit? Cancel the chemical peel.

Aquarius - We all have different ways of not being alone. Some of us have pets; others belong to clubs; some of us are just sluts. There are just as many ways for an Aquarian to be alone in a crowd, like zoning out, freaking out and walking out. Lovable-Eccentrics 2 Rest-Of-The-World 0. It's time to rack up a few extra lovable points just in case. You know what's expected of you, just do your version of it.

Pisces - The number one secret of successful people is an absolutely unshakable belief in self. The number two secret is that they all know exactly what they have to do in order to get their own way: how much money it will cost, how nice they have to be, how much of their souls/pride they have to sell/swallow. You have the faith, the cost is minimal: no need to pull out the tears - you're in the power position on this one.