Blogoscopes January 15 - 22, 2007

Aries - Last Monday I suggested that you had a choice between diving into the deep end, and sitting at the poolside bar (see archives http://www.sonofblague.blogspot.com/ ). Typically you've decided to do both and I applaud your joie de vivre. Be sure that you're joie-ing in the deep end because, as we all know, if you dive on the poolside bar, you're cut off for like a week.

Taurus - Make some time this week to do something really nice for yourself. Maybe a spa day would be in order. If a top to toe buff and polish doesn't sound like your thing, perhaps you should go shopping. Buy some accessories. Or shoes. Or accessories for your shoes. Kindness is the order of the day, but don't spoil yourself because ultimately that would defeat the purpose.

Gemini - It's a big week for you Gemini. There is an incredible opportunity coming your way; a once in a lifetime kind of thing that fulfills dreams you didn't even know you had. This is a very limited time offer so by all means act now, but don't let the terrifying sense of urgency tempt you to sell yourself cheaply.

Cancer - I'd be hard pressed to believe that you're even planning on leaving the house this week. Of course strictly speaking, that's not true. You'll have to leave the house in order to go to work and earn enough money to keep the house. Or at least that's what they'd like you to believe.

Leo - Everything going on in the world this week revolves around you. That's not really the case, but you do love drama and the days ahead could get you the Oscar nod. Oh sure, you'd have to be a last minute write-in, but hell if popular acclaim can get Due South renewed, it could really move things forward for you.

Virgo - Right now, you are somewhere between a rock and a hard place - like Bambi meeting Godzilla, Virgoland is suddenly under attack from an alien world that thinks postal codes are important but manners aren't. This has left you feeling isolated, confused and not a little miffed. Have faith Virgo, even as you read this, there are others of your kind seeking you out.

Libra - The science fair is this week and you just have to win it. You've worked really hard to get everything just right, and the only thing left to do is fret. You have no idea what I'm trying to say and if you really wanted to know you'd take your fingers out of your ears and stop yodelling.

Scorpio - You may be playing the sexual martyr these days Scorpio but I don't think that even you can still believe that this spell of abstinence is your choice. The truth is you've been cut off from something that you weren't getting to begin with. You are about to discover that you only wanted it because you couldn't have it - you've lost nothing.

Sagittarius - Are you working for an escort agency or a massage parlour? I ask because it seems unlikely that you're making money through a satanic cult, but there is definitely something evil and/or obscene about the ease with which you are attracting recognition and rewards. And when I say evil and/or obscene, I mean in a good way.

Capricorn - Did you ever wonder why, when politicians are running for public office, you so rarely see any actual running? You're not that lucky. You've definitely declared your intentions, but since you don't have your own well-oiled political machine, you will actually have to do some of the work yourself. Think of it as a photo op, like Bill Clinton jogging.

Aquarius - Have you ever thought that if only you could find the right words, you could change the world? Well here's your opportunity. Step into the motley of the Holy Fool and fight ignorance and oppression everywhere with your wisdom and humour. That's the grown up version of the smart ass.

Pisces - Wow if you thought the asylum was a mad house (snicker) just wait until you get home and see the mess that's accumulated there since you left. I suggest that you adapt the institutional framework to your personal life. Medication at regular intervals and restraints when required.