Blogoscope February 5th to 12th 2007

Aries - Okay so the cavalry hasn't arrived yet, but you can definitely hear the pounding of horses' hooves. Other cliches of hope surround you; darkest before the dawn, close a door open a window, etc. etc. Feel free to clutch any straw you like but ignore all references to lights at the end of the tunnels. Is it a search party? Is it a speeding locomotive? You don't need that kind of pressure right now. Concentrate on being rescued.

Taurus - Your lucky numbers are 5 and 7. Five senses, Seven days a week. Continue to pay close attention to every moment. Take the time to appreciate where you are right now. Too often you chafe to be elsewhere. Good or bad, every circumstance of your current situation is contributing to where you ultimately want to be. Make time to acknowledge that. Recognize that there's a difference between being grounded and being rooted.

Gemini - You made it! It was a squeaker, and you worked really hard for it, but you survived. You deserve to reward yourself in a big way. Epic celebrations are in order. Everything, all the time. Now ask yourself, what if you could always live like this? What if everyday was this amazing? What would it take to make that happen? There...now you know what you want, go get it.

Cancer - If the twenty-first century has taught us anything, it's that fame without celebrity will not pay the rent. They used to say you're only as good as the last thing you've done, now you're only as good as the last thing you got caught doing in an alley. You may be fabulicious, but without an audience you're just pathetic so get out there and shake something. Your fans are waiting.

Leo - There are no situations in life that cannot be addressed with a good cat metaphor. An entire greeting card industry and an inordinate percentage of e-mail chain letters thrive on this premise. For Leos, however, it is often literally true. Spend the next few days hiding under the bed. By the time you've assessed the damage and feel ready to be seen in public again, everyone else will have forgotten that you set fire to your own tail. Hang in there baby!

Virgo - When I was in Brownies, I was taught how to darn a sock. I was so good at it that not only did I get my badge, I immediately got to fly up to Sixer. I'm sad that I have never again had occasion to darn a sock. Why am I telling you this? Because only a Virgo really understands how very disappointing it can be to never get a chance to use a skill or talent at which you really excel. Plus I know how much you love obscure references to arcane coming of age rituals.

Libra - You have been an absolute saint. You've set aside all of your own needs for the sake of the greater good. Much of the success that those around you are enjoying is due to your hard work and sacrifice. Is that why you did it? And let me just say right here - it's okay if it is! Your motives are your own so you might as well truly own them. Get yourself a big gold star and pin it to your lapel...everything else will fall into place.

Scorpio - You picked up a stray and now it's puking on your carpet. Well they say no good deed goes unpunished. Except this didn't start out as a good deed did it? You thought this was what you wanted and in a two-dimensional world it is. In this world, the one you actually live in, it's more than you bargained for. So you can either get 3-D or resign yourself to becoming a comic book character.

Sagittarius - You know that old saying "Lucky at cards, unlucky in love"? Well this week, you could leave home for milk and show up two days later with the new lover you won at Texas Hold'Em. For any other sign of the zodiac that would be an analogy - for you it's apt to be a reality. Your current lover reads your blogoscope every week in a vain attempt to determine whether or not you are cheating. All of which is to say don't press your luck and don't flaunt it either.

Capricorn - The devil is standing two feet to the left and just behind you. Nobody else can see him, but you know he's there. You can hear him. He's been trying to get your attention for a while, but only now has his voice actually begun to register in your conscious mind. Hypnotic, demonic, seductive, destructive, there is only one way to counteract his dark power. Picture him in a glitter wig and go-go boots singing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow". It's all about perspective.

Aquarius - It's always good to be able to see where you're going, and to this end, most people have become reliant on some source of light - daylight, flashlight, spotlight, candlelight. Only Aquarians make a habit of illuminating their paths with the flaming afterglow of their last adventure. Good for you! Back light means silhouettes and silhouettes make you look thin.

Pisces - There are times when you can have too much of a good thing and this is especially true of you sensitive Pisceans. You're smart, popular and in demand and while your instinct is to satisfy the needs of all who clamour after you, you're not sure how to do it without killing anyone. Try this - throw a dinner party, invite everyone, introduce a few people to a few other people, let them do all the work and you take all the credit. Sound good?