Aries - I was using Google to help me determine the semantic difference between 'unusual careers' and 'odd jobs', when I stumbled upon Lawrence.com. It's completely changed the way I think and feel about Kansas and if I had some sparkly red shoes I'd head down there tonight for some Smackdown Karaoke or Live Action Trivia at the Bottleneck. You should come with, maybe expand your social circle a little.
Taurus - I'm not saying that it's going to happen, but what if you were caught in some steamy sex scandal that hit the tabloids and had paparazzi photographing your every move and noting your every word?Here is a how-to page for your secret weapon in deflecting unwanted questions and looking totally buff doing it. Or you could hire a press secretary who can tell the tabloids - quote - you don't know and you don't care - unquote.
Gemini - Boobies (of the blue-footed variety) got their name from British sailors who thought the birds were stupid because they'd alight on ships and just sit there, unaware that they were in danger, letting themselves get picked off by hungry seamen. So was it superstitious maritime misogyny that landed female breasts with the same 'stupid' name? Is this typical human behaviour - to loathe what you can never have and despise what you can?
Cancer - I thought we should talk about meditation this week but apparently on-line naval gazing involves - if not an actual navy, a nautical theme . At least two sites actually use the term swashbuckling, and although I'm not familiar with it as a form of meditation, I for one am willing to buckle some swash. Are you with me matey? What's a pirate's favourite letter? Rrrrrrr!
Leo - I was thinking that you could use some shiny vibes this week and came across a gem called Positive Articles. I seriously doubt that the content will help you at all but take a moment to read the submission guidelines. Strident much? What does this mean to you? If you're going to let everyone into the pool, someone will definitely pee in it. And maybe the only thing you can do about it is keep your own head out of the water.
Virgo - I was searching for a link to Snow White's Seven Dwarfs to provide an enchanted analogy to your hard-working-self. Here is what I discovered: Snow Shite is an easy and apparently popular typo (my favourite is Snow Shite Cleaners in Balcones Heights, Texas); the original dwarf were either dragons or thieves; and this search didn't pull up much porn....Hmmm.
Libra - Here's a lovely phrase for you 'logical paradoxes' - never again will you be you be stuck for an answer to any question. Used in combination with a gallic shrug it becomes a potent weapon of confusion, alienation and shame against anyone who thinks you owe them an explanation. This is a social tightrope - you need a net. Be prepared to claim that you have amnesia or a recently-discovered-separated-at-birth twin.
Scorpio - Can you see any difference between this and this? Because I can't. What about these ? Are they listed in DSM-IV as criteria for borderline personality disorder, "mental retardation" and fake diseases? Because they should be. I think Awful Plastic Surgery is my new favourite site. It's like a neon sign flashing in the night and it reads "These People are Craaaaaaazy" And apparently just unable to do their own cutting.
Sagittarius - Make sure no one can see your monitor when you open this . Your guilty little secret? You love a good bodice ripper. You know exactly what it's like to be a true romantic idealist, saving yourself - well okay, some of yourself - for that one perfect soul mate. I'm a little uncertain about that last link - whenever anyone uses the work 'key' in connection with romance I get a little bit edgy. If having a soul mate has anything to do with keys I don't want one - do you?
Capricorn - Lately I've been fascinated by Second Life and the potential it holds to turn virtual dollars into actual money. Seriously, you should check out the US dollar figure spent there in the last 24 hours. The same people who struggle to comprehend this as a 'reality' will track premiums on any number of different store bonus cards and maintain a complex and fluid knowledge of how to convert Brownie Points into actual goods and services.
Aquarius - Nearly everybody I know is talking about this one particular site - more than about anything else on line and this week as I approached it, I trembled with great trepidation. It looks so innocuous and yet I can almost feel its powerful force field reaching out to pull me into the vortex of the world's largest on line social network. Sadly, it's lacking that certain je ne sais quoi that I really like about actual friends.
Pisces - Stephen Harper, by the way is a Taurus. Now, you'd catch me voting for Stephen Harper only if my body had been invaded by aliens with evil intentions. If it was possible to vote against someone this is the man I would vote against. For now I just complain. So I really have to admire this site "What is Stephen Harper Reading?" - even though I think it's you and not our PM who deserves to have a cure for busyness personally prepared by a Man Booker Award winner.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment