Blogoscopes April 30th to May 7th, 2007

Aries – If you’ve ever bought a packet of seeds to plant in the garden, you know that the instructions usually tell you to plant the seeds indoors about 4 -6 weeks before you’re going to put them in the ground. What if you get the seeds in May but you don’t think you’ll have time to plant them until November? Do you keep them in pots all year? Pot them in October? Pave your entire yard? One thing is for sure, sooner or later you’ve got to plant those seeds.

Taurus - Imagine you left home this morning and forgot to bring along something that you’re going to need at some point during your day. Now imagine that you live in a world where you must go all the way around the planet and approach your home from another direction in order to retrieve that item. Well that would just be stupid when you could simply walk backward. What you can’t do is turn around and walk forward. Not at the same time.

Gemini – The other day I was walking by the corner of Gerrard and Broadview and found myself waiting at a traffic light behind two gentlemen of late middle age. They appeared nearly identical in stature and outerwear and shouted at each other – one in French and the other in Chinese. They seemed to be communicating and yet I wonder. Perhaps they, like you, could use a little spiritual Berlitz to create a shared language that both of you can understand.

Cancer – What if everybody threw a party and you didn’t go? Would you still come by the next day and clean the place up? I’m not saying that’s the reason you got invited in the first place, not at all, it’s just that everybody knows it’s what you do – arrive long after the parade and sweep up the mess. Oh that’s what you used to do? So you’re not doing that anymore? Oh I see. Well give yourself a pat on the back

Leo – When we were kids we were very serious in our approach to wishing. We screwed up our faces, scrunched our shoulders, clenched our fists and concentrated our energies into that wish. And then, we blew out the candles or blew off the seeded dandelion head. It’s our breath that changes our hopes into aspirations. Maybe it’s time that you breathed a little more life into the things you’re wishing for.

Virgo – Many bemoan the crass commercialism of our modern world, but did you know that the ancients set a price for everything - including each individual part of the human body – that had to be paid by wrongdoers. I wonder if this is the source of the saying that the sum of the parts is greater than the whole, because it certainly would have been profitable for the family if a person died piecemeal. Beat that for greedy and gross.

Libra – Have you ever had the experience of walking in to a room only to discover that two of your exes are present? It’s embarrassing and really, how in the world are you supposed to react? You could just turn around and leave but that seems rude. You could avoid both of them. Or, you could consider the possibility that neither one of them knows you’re there; walk over and say hi and discover that neither one cares that you’re there. Wow! Embarrassment is looking pretty sweet huh?

Scorpio – If I were you I wouldn’t worry too much about the fact that you aren’t able to understand a single word that anybody is saying to you. Sure their mouths are moving but they are making alien noises and the less you understand the louder they seem to become, but just ignore it. Nothing is being said that you need to concern your self with at all, and in the long run deniability is going to be your best friend. Make no attempt to communicate.

Sagittarius – We call the things we want most in life our dreams because they are often as ephemeral and obscure as our nighttime visions. Sometimes the two will overlap and you’ll finding yourself rising from sleep with the perfect answer to a problem that has plagued your waking hours. Of course it is frustrating to have your sleeping mind tell you to wear the blue dress when your waking mind knows that you don’t own a blue dress. If you want to make sense of it all try not to be so literal – maybe it’s a skirt and blouse.

Capricorn – Ants are the ultimate symbol of productivity. They are individually capable of tasks that are enormous in relation to their size, and their level of efficiency belies their lack of intelligence. Fictionally they are often posited to be working from one large controlling brain or at least to be mutually conventional in their right wing thinking. Are ants the ultimate fanatics? Is the pismire a threat to homeland security? Should we declare war? We have? Well then carry on.

Aquarius – You look good in purple. It’s a rich, electric, regal colour that symbolizes the empire of the mind, emphasizes your flashing eyes and downplays your green complexion. This of course allows you to walk undetected amongst other humans. In the future, you might want to consider wrapping yourself in velvet rather than covering yourself in bruises. It takes a very short time for the average Haematoma to turn a shade of yellow that is flattering to no one.

Pisces – You certainly have your head screwed on right. I’m not sure what it looks like to have a head screwed on wrong but I always imagine that it’s a bit clumsy. You’d have to walk very carefully to avoid having it fall off. Your face and your feet would probably be going in different directions. You would most certainly see things from a very different perspective. Well thank heavens your’s is on right.