Aries - You know, you've gotta give props to celebrities these days. About half the population of North America seems to be one, making a living just getting photographed. Seriously; with the right handling they can do some piece of shit, scary-action-costume-indie-teen-flick and parlay that into spending the rest of their lives having the media save them the postage by making all of their major life announcements - births, deaths, weddings, and rehab. What do you want to be famous for? You've got a little time, why don't you think about it? Be as creative as you'd like.
Taurus - What's your taste in music? I tend to like my music the way I like my chocolate - a little sweet with a smooth chewy quality, a bit of crunch and on the dark side. When it has all those qualities, music can give me that same happy, high, in love feeling that chocolate does. I have to confess that it wasn't always this way. In my younger days my taste in music and chocolate tended more toward the milky sweet and simple. Which was also how love felt back then. What were your favourite chocolate songs the first time you fell in love?
Taurus - What's your taste in music? I tend to like my music the way I like my chocolate - a little sweet with a smooth chewy quality, a bit of crunch and on the dark side. When it has all those qualities, music can give me that same happy, high, in love feeling that chocolate does. I have to confess that it wasn't always this way. In my younger days my taste in music and chocolate tended more toward the milky sweet and simple. Which was also how love felt back then. What were your favourite chocolate songs the first time you fell in love?
Gemini - Think of one thing in the whole world that consistently makes your heart leap, makes you catch your breath, draws your eye and forces you to stop what you were doing. It might not be a good thing; it might be a scary thing; it might not be a thing; but you need to think about it; play twenty questions with it; find out what it looks like and where it lives. Now, imagine, just for a second, that it's gone.....and.... it's back. Which end of that made you gasp? How did you life look without that thing? Scary or good?
Cancer - I have issues with elevators. I'm not afraid of them and in fact I've been stuck in them on numerous occasions without coming to any harm. However, and this might go back to my imaginary detective friends (see Libra) but I always expect elevator doors to open and reveal a dead body. Morning, noon and night, at home or at work, going up or heading down, I anticipate gore each and every time those doors begin to slide open. Well, I guess maybe I am afraid of elevators. Your turn....where do you anticipate murder and mayhem?
Leo - Do you ever feel as though life is just one great big greased pig contest? Contrary to a popular saying about pig wrestling, you may both get dirty but the pig does not enjoy it. So we're agreed then - entire chunks of life can often resemble floundering around a sty in an mainly futile attempt to capture a terrified animal - and neither one of you knows why. There are easier ways to get your hands on a bacon sandwich. Plus, bacon is bad for you so maybe you should think about turkey wrestling. Tofu wrestling is inevitable.
Virgo - Man, the world is full of stupid people. You know how you can tell? Most of them are working at jobs they hate because they can't think of anything better to do with their time. Whaddaya mean that's not why they do it? Oh, I get it, it's money they're worried about. The net result is the same - an ever increasing population of mentally lazy people who are unable to think - full stop. Well you know what that means? The time is ripe for you to take over the world. Someone needs to show all the others what has real value.
Libra - I have developed some really wonderful friendships with a series of fictional characters. Most of them are detectives from murder mysteries. I frequently imagine myself being interviewed by one of them as a witness or possible suspect in some interesting crime. I have mentally rehearsed ways of sounding innocent yet interesting; I now have a selection of alibis on hand that do the job admirably - "I was thinking about soup; my thumb was stuck; I need more purple; aliens" Feel free to use any of them if you want people to find you mysterious.
Scorpio - Ever read anything written by David Sedaris? In Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim he tries to come to terms with the knowledge that his is not the only high school in the world with cool kids. To this day, apparently, he still struggles to grasp this concept because, if it proves to be true, it means that he has built his life around trying to imitate and please people who really are not important. Hey, ever stop to think that maybe your cool kids aren't the only cool kids? That maybe they're not even cool?
Sagittarius - Are you a Cosmo girl? Just play along here and get into the spirit of the thing. Do you want to define an era, break the rules, set a new standard and still look pretty for your man? Do you want to be in charge, calling the shots, running the show and still get silly with the girls? Do you want to have it all and do you want to look good doing it? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you're a Cosmo girl. Don't worry, the dress code has been relaxed and these days you can make the grade without even combing your hair.
Capricorn - I'm overwhelmed by the number and variety of functions/services that are offered by my cell phone. I use three of them. I either don't know what the rest are or have no use for them. The iPhone has upped the ante on features I would never find a use for but it has also made me start to imagine a phone built to do the things I want it to do; like housework and teleportation; maybe it could contain a Taser . What do you want your gadgets/tools to do for you? Make a list and don't let reality get in get in your way.
Cancer - I have issues with elevators. I'm not afraid of them and in fact I've been stuck in them on numerous occasions without coming to any harm. However, and this might go back to my imaginary detective friends (see Libra) but I always expect elevator doors to open and reveal a dead body. Morning, noon and night, at home or at work, going up or heading down, I anticipate gore each and every time those doors begin to slide open. Well, I guess maybe I am afraid of elevators. Your turn....where do you anticipate murder and mayhem?
Leo - Do you ever feel as though life is just one great big greased pig contest? Contrary to a popular saying about pig wrestling, you may both get dirty but the pig does not enjoy it. So we're agreed then - entire chunks of life can often resemble floundering around a sty in an mainly futile attempt to capture a terrified animal - and neither one of you knows why. There are easier ways to get your hands on a bacon sandwich. Plus, bacon is bad for you so maybe you should think about turkey wrestling. Tofu wrestling is inevitable.
Virgo - Man, the world is full of stupid people. You know how you can tell? Most of them are working at jobs they hate because they can't think of anything better to do with their time. Whaddaya mean that's not why they do it? Oh, I get it, it's money they're worried about. The net result is the same - an ever increasing population of mentally lazy people who are unable to think - full stop. Well you know what that means? The time is ripe for you to take over the world. Someone needs to show all the others what has real value.
Libra - I have developed some really wonderful friendships with a series of fictional characters. Most of them are detectives from murder mysteries. I frequently imagine myself being interviewed by one of them as a witness or possible suspect in some interesting crime. I have mentally rehearsed ways of sounding innocent yet interesting; I now have a selection of alibis on hand that do the job admirably - "I was thinking about soup; my thumb was stuck; I need more purple; aliens" Feel free to use any of them if you want people to find you mysterious.
Scorpio - Ever read anything written by David Sedaris? In Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim he tries to come to terms with the knowledge that his is not the only high school in the world with cool kids. To this day, apparently, he still struggles to grasp this concept because, if it proves to be true, it means that he has built his life around trying to imitate and please people who really are not important. Hey, ever stop to think that maybe your cool kids aren't the only cool kids? That maybe they're not even cool?
Sagittarius - Are you a Cosmo girl? Just play along here and get into the spirit of the thing. Do you want to define an era, break the rules, set a new standard and still look pretty for your man? Do you want to be in charge, calling the shots, running the show and still get silly with the girls? Do you want to have it all and do you want to look good doing it? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you're a Cosmo girl. Don't worry, the dress code has been relaxed and these days you can make the grade without even combing your hair.
Capricorn - I'm overwhelmed by the number and variety of functions/services that are offered by my cell phone. I use three of them. I either don't know what the rest are or have no use for them. The iPhone has upped the ante on features I would never find a use for but it has also made me start to imagine a phone built to do the things I want it to do; like housework and teleportation; maybe it could contain a Taser . What do you want your gadgets/tools to do for you? Make a list and don't let reality get in get in your way.
Aquarius - Is it possible that the Bruce Nuclear plant is being run by Smurfs or did I just imagine that? Some days the line between the dream world and the so-called real world is really hard to see. The downside of that is possibly finding yourself at work in your pajamas; that and the potential for really boring dreams. The upside is finding yourself smiling just because; that and the potential to have a really dreamy life. Hey just because you're a little blue person doesn't mean you can't be a nuclear scientist.
Pisces - Do you enjoy jigsaw puzzles? Have you ever done one of those really big ones with like a kajillion pieces? Imagine working your way through something like that and then discovering that there's a piece missing. That would be really frustrating but you'd still know what the picture was and really what difference does it make. Now imagine that your kajillion pieces are from one of those 3-D puzzles, and the piece that's missing is a bottom corner - big difference. You can't really start let alone finish this one. Time to improvise.
Pisces - Do you enjoy jigsaw puzzles? Have you ever done one of those really big ones with like a kajillion pieces? Imagine working your way through something like that and then discovering that there's a piece missing. That would be really frustrating but you'd still know what the picture was and really what difference does it make. Now imagine that your kajillion pieces are from one of those 3-D puzzles, and the piece that's missing is a bottom corner - big difference. You can't really start let alone finish this one. Time to improvise.
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