Blogoscopes Week of October 13, 2008

Aries - How much time do you figure the average human being spends dealing with ear wax in their life? I'm thinking just their own personal ear wax, I'm not including parents and children or (gross) pets. But honestly, when did a little introspection ever hurt anyone?

Taurus - The amount of work that went in to this is just amazing to me. Check the bottom of the page for stats and then clock the fact that this hasn't been touched in over 6 years. I sincerely hope that everyone involved has been partying their collective asses off since March 16, 2002. Follow their example.

Gemini - You konw the great thing about the internet is that for the first time in the history of work, you can get paid for stuff you do from anywhere in the world. The fascintaing thing is how many of us decide to do it from home! Where do you think your home is?

Cancer - You know I can remember writing one of these columns and trying to find a way to attach indvidual songs to each sign. Why it didn't occur to me to give you an entire site I will never know. Now your radio station can have the same DIY ethic as your life.

Leo - Scientists say that any action at a quantum level is changed simply by being observed. I'm not sure what that means at a macro level but for safety sake I'd advise you to do your best to ignore all the gawkers.

Virgo - It's hard to find things that get lost in the dark. It's even harder to find things when you don't know what you've lost. It can't hurt to light a candle. And you can always find your mouth.

Libra - Sometimes it's not enough to just tell people to go away. Sometimes you have to tell them exactly where to go. Be definite, be forceful. Point, but for pete's sake don't offer to drive them there.

Scorpio - Ever heard the expression 'hot knife through butter'? It's used to describe something that is done with incredible ease. Like your life right now. Others will be staring and wondering how you do it. You don't know so don't even bother explaining.

Sagittarius - I stumbled upon this and I gotta confess that my initial reactin was to wonder if the people leaving comments are all fat girls. But that's mean isn't it? You and I both know that mean is often true.

Capricorn - You may not be psychic but for some reason everyone seems to be asking you to predict the future for them. This trend will continue for a while. If you can't bring yourself to admit you don't know, buy a crystal ball and pretend. Be mysterious and obscure so no one can call you on it.

Aquarius - Read this. Do I need to say anything more? If you're really feeling this, maybe you should buy yourself the t-shirt. If you don't agree, maybe you should buy yourself a margarita - to start with.

Pisces - Paying attention to every detail of every minute of every day is exhausting. On some planets it's also called extreme paranoia. On your planet it's called this week. Try doing brain sit-ups.