Blogoscopes Week of October 27 to Novemer 3, 2008

Aries - No idea what you might be for Halloween this year but whatever you decide should include a full face mask and just the tiniest chance that someone else at the party will have the same costume. That way when you and your partner try to find each other during the course of the evening, it will be have to be something other than your face that gives you away. Exercise caution and unmask before the two of you do anything silly.

Taurus - A few years back I was invited to a Halloween party where friends hoped to set me up with the host. Things looked promising when he appeared dressed as Hunter S. Thompson. Things went south when I discovered that he'd only seen the movie. No one else at the party got it. They all called him beach dude. See he was too smart and then just not smart enough. You want to watch that.

Gemini - I'm recommending that this year for Halloween you dress as an oracle. Beyond Greeks and togas, I'm not sure what that looks like but you'll think of something. The point is that you currently have the power to talk the paint off a Porsche and you can use that to earn yourself a little do re mi. The catch is that you can only do it in costume. It's not about convincing your listeners, it's about convincing yourself.

Cancer - I remember the only time I ever played Pictionary, and every single clue I had to illustrate was an intangible. Like integrity, forgiveness, honesty - how do you draw these things in under 60 seconds? So you'll understand when I tell you that for your Halloween costume I am absolutely at a loss. What does the milk of human kindness and universal love look like? Is it sequined or striped? Does it require a wig? Maybe just a big smile and nothing else!

Leo - This year you're going trick or treating en masse and they put you in charge of the costumes. Although it may seem like a waste of your time, it's actually a good thing for several reasons, one of which is that you will definitely get the job done and two is that you won't end up wearing anything that will make you look silly. Seriously, what would you do if someone suggested you all go dressed as the Rockettes? Do try to keep in mind that the Supreme Court is also not everyone's idea of a fun disguise.

Virgo - Yes Halloween is not only crassly commercialized, it's significance in a spiritual and social sense has been trivialized beyond belief. Yet for some reason this year you have developed a sudden interest in bobbing for apples. I applaud your decision to let loose and have some fun but I am a little worried that you're going to fall victim to your own prfectionism and miss the event while planning the ultimate costume. Throw a sheet over your head and just go out.

Libra - It's diffcult for me to judge whether you're decorating for a haunted house or just letting your house work slide. If it's the former you might want to tone down the sunny smile - it doesnt' scare anyone. If it's the latter, since you've gone this far you might as well throw a party and really have something to clean up after. Invite your guests to dress as their favourite cleaning tool and kill two birds with one stone.

Scorpio - If anyone is going to run into ghosts and goblins and wee evil beasties on Halloween it wil be you. You've got way too much energy to burn right now and the safest way I can think of for you to expend it is in a little one-on-one with some ectoplasm. You appear to be itching for a fight simply because you don't know what else to do and at least I know a ghost can't hurt you. Maybe you can release some pressure just running away. Boo!

Sagittarius - Do you remember the movie Alien? Have you been thinking about how the creature burst out of John Hurt's chest and wondering if that's not just indigestion you've been feeling? All right I'm sure that no slimy extraterrestrial brute is going to leap out of your body and ruin Haloween for everyone but it's a pretty simple costume idea and an easy way to release your inner beast in a metaphorical way that will allow you complete deniability later - after your angst eats the world.

Capricorn - One of the fundamentals of Halloween costume development is that you should always be comfortable enough to eat, drink, dance, and pee. This year for you alone I'm adding this caveat - your costume shoud be just uncomfortable enough that you yourself don't end up believing in it. A red cape doesn't mean you can fly. Crazy white hair won't make your explanation of relativity the correct one. Stay sober enough to remember that this is all just make believe.

Aquarius - Okay so usually you get a jump start on the bah humbug business and start playing Scrooge by hiding out on Halloween. This year I sense you've mellowed a bit. Maybe you've gotten in touch with the ghost of Trick or Treats past and realized that you've been missing out on some serious fun. Revisiting your childhood is not a bad costume idea. Dress up as you when you were 8 years old. Heck, egg a car or two and soap some windows. Just don't tell anybody I suggested it.

Pisces - Will I get in trouble if I suggest your Halloween costume should be conjoined twins? The world is always a scary place for you but when the veil between the worlds comes down and the undead rise to stalk the streets, no amount of reflective clothing is going to help. This is an entire night built on the concept of taking candy from strangers, which the rest of the year we're told is bad. So partner up! Travel with a buddy. Preferrably one who's braver than you.