Blogoscope Week of January 12 to 19, 2009

Aries - The bane of my existence is the downtown, underground Path at lunch time. It is crowded, chaotic and loud, with all the charm of a flaming ant hill. When forced to venture into the depths I obey a few simple rules and I think you will find them helpful this week - know where you're heading and why; wear sensible shoes; and move against the crowd not with it. Wherever it is that everybody else is headed, you do not want to go there.

Taurus - Okay, so you wake up one morning and you can't remember who you are. Don't panic, and don't let on to any one. Carry a book and if somebody asks you a question pretend to be too engrossed in reading to respond. Be deep - insist on giving enormous amounts of thought to everything. Wear an air of constant distraction and if all else fails feign illness and go back to bed. Oh, and in case you were wondering this would not be the time to accept a marriage proposal.

Gemini - It is the season for the Annual General Meeting of the Gemini fan club and you are polishing your gavel in anticipation of calling everyone to order. There is much to be done and this is no time for shilly-shallying, dilly-dallying or fiddle faddling! You want every detail to be absolutely perfect: i's dotted, t's crossed, like in the word military. Maybe you want to ease up a bit. Other people can be right too. Cooperation has an i and a t! Whaddya say?

Cancer - Woohoo! Conga! You are the life and soul of the party and with the support of a kick-ass rhythm section you've got the whole place happily cavorting along in your wake.....and suddenly it's time to go back to work. You don't want to leave the party and they don't want you to go! What to do, what to do? Can you take them to work with you? No, well how about a lunch time samba session? Can everyone hang on until then?

Leo - I had a dream last night that you had become a professional mime. You were travelling the world attending all the biggest busking festivals and your speciality was the silent seduction. You were a superstar in whiteface and eyeliner, adored from here to Helsinki. You were so happy and yet so alone. Maybe because you can't phone long distance in mime? People are wondering where you are so hire a translator and make the call.

Virgo - It can be really hard to get good help, but if you're honest you don't really need help do you? You seem to have everything nicely under control all on your own. Neither do you need a fan club - distant adoration doesn't have the same sense of awed wonderment as the up close and personal. The entourage is overworked to the point of passe, ditto the protege. What do you say to the idea of an acolyte - or two? Could you be worshipped?

Libra - Some people are never happy. They are miserable and glowery no matter what. Others are just naturally effervescent. They bubble along happily through life taking it all in and enjoying every minute of it. And then there's you. Oh sure it's possible that you look eternally dour or endlessly stoked but that's just a cover to keep people off your back. On the inside you are just absolutely happy enough thank you very much.

Scorpio - MP3 players and their ilk are the perfect foil to the buzz kill that is public transit. You may be feeling a bit tetchy these days and need to separate yourself from the masses so turn it up and let the music get you into your own private groove. Do not be surprised, however, if you get carried away and suddenly surface to find yourself in a full on song and dance number with a crowd of your fellow commuters.

Sagittarius - Do you know the story of the Emperor's New Clothes? Not that you could be tricked into fake finery, nor would it disturb you to be walking naked down a busy street, but you may be under a misapprehension about the admiring glances. Sure, people are staring at you, but it's possible that they're not thinking about you. They maybe wondering if it's time to replace their home insulation.

Capricorn - This week the meter man drops by for his readings and finds you in a philosophical frame of mind. You talk him into accepting a cup of coffee and the two of you have a lengthy discussion about life, love and the nature of the universe. It's good for you to make new friends and it never hurts to have a radically different perspective on things. Just be sure he doesn't get the wrong impression.

Aquarius - You are about to take the term financial wizard through to it's logical conclusion and earn yourself a new position in the company by wearing a tall pointy hat with stars on it. Let the CEO get a look at your wand and you might find yourself standing behind the throne - an excellent position for seeing everybody and for making things happen. Smile and wave to your friends.

Pisces - I think it's great - nay, admirable that you have such a clear vision of where you're going and what you're doing. I can also understand how annoying it is that everyone seems so determined to get in your way. Have you ever stopped to consider that perhaps your path to success is cutting through their back yard and that you're traipsing grass clippings all over the place?