Blogoscopes Week of January 19 to 26, 2009

Aries - You feel great and everything is running very smoothly right now. No it's not. Yes it is. No it's not. Yes it...arrrrgh. Okay it should be running smoothly because you've got tons of energy and you're in a great frame of mind, but when you're at work all you can think about is home and when you're at home all you can think about is work. This is the sort of vibe that makes puppies chase their tails. Sometimes the only thing to do is run in circles really fast until you get dizzy and fall down.

Taurus - This would be a good week to find a new place to drop in for your latte in the morning, your chef's salad at lunch or your cocktail after work. It's one thing to feel a sense of community with the barrista who foams your milk, the counter help who remembers your extra olives or the barkeep who pours your pint; it's when they start to feel like family that you need to step back. Spend a week in similar environments with people who are strangers and watch what that does to your outlook.

Gemini - Being a Gemini means never being alone. You always have your twin, like a reflection in a mirror to talk things over with. It is vital that you remember that not everybody lives in that mirror. Many of us didn't hear the first half of the conversation you're having with yourself. We don't know these people you're talking about and this is the first we've learned about your sex change. The other way we differ from your mirror is that we don't always tell you what you want to hear.

Cancer - Being paranoid does not mean that there are not people following you. However, just because somebody is walking behind you, it doesn't necessarily mean they are following you. It is possible that they're just going your way. Relax, act natural and stop glaring at everybody over your shoulder. Constantly looking backward means you're not watching where you're headed. And if you get yourself lost you will be glad there's someone around who appears to know where you're going.

Leo - Who can turn the world on with {their} smile? Ah come on you know it's you. You woke up in a very good mood this morning and that will probably last for quite a while so don't be surprised if you find perfect strangers, smiling and waving or calling out greetings. You're a regular little Mary Tyler Moore, ready to take the world by storm gosh darn it and isn't everything just super? Do yourself a favour and save the singing and dancing numbers for home not public.

Virgo - There is a disruption in the space time continuum this week and thing unfold in a very different manner depending on whether you were born in August or September. August Virgos have the gift of gab and despite a Mercury retrograde you could sell handbags to amputees. Should a September Virgo try the same thing, they are most likely to get arrested for purse snatching. All of you are talking from the heart, but not every one can hear that. Judge your words accordingly.

Libra - For someone who craves tranquility, you spend an awful lot of time storm chasing. You're dancing with a funnel cloud and thinking you're immune to getting carried away. Would you recognize your danger if I put it another way? You're close to getting sucked up! We both know there's a place in the centre of all this that contains the peace you seek, but right now you don't have what it takes to make it through the wall of wind to get there. Blanket! Couch ! Now!

Scorpio - It's a common human failing, when confronted by an individual who - for whatever reason - is unable to understand what we are saying, instead of changing our words or even our language, we just talk louder. So, in the days ahead if you discover that a larger than usual number of people are running away from you, it likely has nothing to do with the quality of your ideas, it's just the volume at which you are expressing them. Softly, softly catchy monkey.

Sagittarius - I always laud Sagittarius as the truth tellers and the danger right now is that you'll tell someone that yes their butt does look fat in those pants, even before the question is posed. Fortunately you are just as likely to shrug and change your mind if this appears to upset anyone. In order to have a great week you should answer all questions honestly but with greater tact than you might normally exhibit. If you can't be kind when you speak, at least don't speak until you're asked.

Capricorn - Don't talk to Sagittarius this week. You're premiering a new you these days. There have been a lot of changes under the hood and now you're test driving things to see if your performance has increased. You don't look any different, but something inside has altered. People may not remark on it right away but they will catch on to the new you. So stop asking everyone if they've noticed anything different; just quietly go about your business in your new way and wait for the applause.

Aquarius - This is one of those times when you look around you and say to yourself "oh my, how did this happen? what could I have done differently and how can I avoid a future repeat of this incident?" All very good questions and the answers are something that only you will be able to find. For one thing, no one else will even have realized that anything has happened, and any attempt to get their opinions or (heaven forbid) assistance, will end in disaster. This is a DIY project and you're best off working alone until you figure it out.

Pisces - You are the exact opposite of The Creature from the Black Lagoon. Not only do you not have gills, webbed feet and green scaly skin, but leaving your sub-aqueous lair in search of your heart's desire will be a good thing that will in no way result in your being captured by ruthless scientists who restrain you until you are forced to kill them in order to escape. So, to recap, yes you'd rather stay indoors but you won't catch any fish that way.