Blogoscopes Week of March 23 to 30, 2009

Aries - You are generally intelligent and inquisitive, moving head first into life but there's that one little area where you go to play three wise monkeys. You've been kidding yourself that if you don't see it, hear it or speak about it that it will go away. It won't. In fact, three monkeys become one elephant inthe room. The more you talk about it the better it will get. Can't tell anyone about it? Talk to your own reflection - the effect will be the same.

Taurus – The gods are calling upon you to honour the spring equinox with a sacrificial rite. Relax; it’s not as horrible as it sounds. You need a bit of spiritual retreat right now – time to go through all of your old thoughts and ideas and throw out the ones that no longer fit you. Take time to do this mindfully but don’t dawdle. You will soon see that there is space for some brand spanking shiny new ideas to move in.

Gemini – You are admirably suited to being a modern day soap-box orator. Which begs the question ‘what is a soap box and what can I use instead’? Obviously you need to find a modern equivalent; something to lift you above the masses so that your message can be heard by all. It could be a milk crate, footstool or even really high heels, but whatever you choose should be sturdy, you may be standing on it for a while.

Cancer - You’re just about the only person I know who could go to a really great party and have a good time curled up in a corner talking to no one; which is exactly what you seem to be doing now. For the moment, your fellow celebrants are too busy to notice that you’re sitting this one out. Soon however, you will have to find some method of convincing all that you really are enjoying yourself – or you could pretend to pass out. That’ll get them off your back.

Leo – Are you feeling lucky? You should be. This is the week that all your ships come in, your eggs hatch and dreams come true. Even better, you currently have the ability to multiply whatever good fortune comes your way and to use it in a way that provides you with inner peace and does some pretty special stuff for the rest of your world as well. I’m not saying you’re Mother Theresa, or Bono, but your good intentions will pay off.

Virgo - You are poised at the top of an impressive staircase. The Rest of The World is at the bottom of the staircase watching your slo-mo descent. Shit, it's that dream again - the one where you're naked and you're supposed to be addressing the nation right now. Don't panic! You have choices. You are in control of your dreams. So, you can wake yourself up or you can give that speech in your birthday suit. Up to you. Whichever way you pick, give it some welly.

Libra - This column may have recently compared you to an amnesia victim, but I forget. Amnesia is a tried and true plot line of every long running television drama, soap opera or murder series. Whether in spite of this or because of it, most people don't realize how incredibly difficult amnesia is to fake. Which is great because you don't have many people to fool so the odds that it will work are skyrocketing. Your success is guaranteed.

Scorpio - Phillipe Petit, the man in "Man on Wire" is your inspiration for the week. Not that illegal activities and death defying performances should be your goal, but you shouldn't be afraid to show off a little bit as long as you can back up the swagger. Imagine what it would feel like to be standing 1350 feet above the ground and you're about to step out on to a wire. You should feel exhilarated enough to pull off a real showstopper. We're all holding out breath.

Sagittarius - The force is strong in this one Obi Wan. You have mastered the age old Jedi mind trick and are really having fun getting everybody to agree with you. However, this is not the way of the Jedi and you are in serious danger of finding yourself on the dark side. Sure it sounds sexy(black capes and jack boots)but you would soon discover that evil unopposed get's really boring. Dust off your light sabre and prepare to defend your ideas for a change.

Capricorn - Hey twinkle toes watch where you're walking! It doesn't matter that you didn't mean to hurt anyone, it's always the not meaning that hurts. Somewhere along the line you've done something glib, overlooked a reaction, given someone short shrift....things that would drive you crazy if the dance shoe was on the other foot. Stop for a moment right now and make the time to bring your people up to speed. They'll be much more help when they know what's going on.

Aquarius - Speaking of breathtaking, did you see the photos of the volcanic eruption near Tonga? Tectonic plates are shifting and what is happening is literally the birth of an island. Did you know that this is how Iceland formed? It's your creative visualization for the week. Recent disturbances have produced the material for some new land mass in your life. Fortunately unlike Tonga you are not threatened by a Tsunami. You might feel a bit weepy though.

Pisces - Holy shit the voices are really loud right now! And they're arguing. Which is good because it means that you're still nominally in control. A house divided and all that....just hang on for a bit longer, keep doing what you're doing and the demons will destroy each other. How long is longer? A month. What is it that you're doing? Working. Keep going; turn on the auto-pilot if you must. If you let it, work can create a sort of zen space for you right now.