Blogoscopes April 2nd to April 9th 2007

Aries - Imagine that you are performing in a big theatrical production. You play the part of the plucky young chorus member who dreams of becoming a star. Suddenly it is all coming true. The lead has a dropped out, the stand-in is drunk and the rest of the cast is in tears. Only you can step to your mark, find your light and deliver a performance that will save the day. Or you could just pee you pants and run home.

Taurus - If any of your friends owe you favours, now would be the time to collect. You'll be seeing a lot less of them for a while and the next time you do bump into any of them you'll be so incredibly rich and famous that you won't want to talk to them. So you're asking 'if I'm going to be so incredibly rich and famous, why do I need to be calling in any favours from them?' and the answer of course is, how else will you get to be so incredibly rich and famous?

Gemini - You may be under the impression that you have plumbed all of your own secret depths and lived to tell about it. You feel solidly grounded and ready to take on the world. You certainly have done your homework and no one could fault your commitment or determination, but that doesn't change the fact that you're about to meet someone who will both pop your cork and shake your foundations. Did you just get a shiver?

Cancer - You caught sight of your own reflection recently and from your initial shy admiration, you have progressed to the point where your nose is now pressed to the mirror while you scrutinize each pore in an effort to seek out and destroy any imperfection. You've got two weeks to use all the magic creams, blue skin masks and herbal remedies you want and then you're just going to have to face facts. This is you and you're beautiful.

Leo - For a while now you've been hearing voices. Did you know there are support groups for that? Doesn't really matter, all your voices want you to do is to stop working and go play with them. As hallucinogenic experiences go that's not so bad is it? But wait, what's this? The voices are no longer content to simply take over your mind. They are now attempting to control your body and make you do fun stuff. Gracious whatever will you do?

Virgo - You've always had a clear understanding of what your boundaries are; you know the limits of your own responsibility and you know your own value. It's really just too bad that not everyone is more like you. You should have your own television program where you get to show people how to live well and help them with their problems. Oprah and Dr. Phil? Don't make me laugh. It's time to raise the bar; set a new standard! and you're just the one to do it.

Libra - In a vain attempt to escape what you feel is unwelcome scrutiny, you appear to have assumed the fetal position with the understanding that you will stay there until 'they' all go away. Well they're not going anywhere. The looks - nay the stares - currently beaming your way are those of admiration not judgement. Curl in on yourself if you must, but your admirers aren't going to disappear any time soon and meantime you might get a cramp.

Scorpio - Not much going on in your neck of the woods these days? Oh sure there's lots of stuff that just keeps happening, but is there anything really going on? Aren't you just a little fed up with the same old same old dressed up to look like something new? Stop looking for someone or something to fix your life. You and only you can ring these changes. And in fact, I will double dog dare you to change one real thing this week. Your hair doesn't count.

Sagittarius - You bring to mind Mrs. Pankhurst and the suffragette movement. She started out fighting for women's right to vote, was arrested numerous times, and twice endured force feeding to end hunger strikes. When WWI broke out she turned her energies to supporting the war and mandatory conscription. Her passion was like a laser that would blaze through anything that she chose to target. All I am trying to say here is, um, just be careful where you point that thing okay?

Capricorn - You are like a tall oak tree. The fruits of your labours take a long time to manifest and when you were little, people called you a nut. Your greatest fear is of becoming rigid. Well if ever there was a time to unbend a little and show your softer side, this is it. Maybe you should do a little volunteer work; something behind the scenes. Nothing to icky, just something that would look good on a resume. Plus it's one more thing to check off your list.

Aquarius - It is next to impossible to perform a high wire act wearing lead lined shoes. Once you make it to the other side you'll be at the bouncing balls and you only need 250 points to win the helicopter and that's easy. But first - crossing the chasm on a wire! Never fear, you friend Grant, the Human Mesh, has spread himself out beneath you to catch you if you fall. Then all you have to do is correctly spell 'dog' and you win. See how great life is when you know you're running the show?

Pisces - You are going through a crisis of faith. Your mind is like a pendulum swinging back and forth between opposing views and try as you might you can't determine which one is the right one for you. Of course you realize that no one can help you out with this, it's between you and your soul, a real test of your spirit. It comes to each of us early or late, that moment when we have to ask ourselves does lite beer really taste great or is it only less filling?