Aries – You are a well respected astronomer with a sterling reputation. You’ve logged hundreds of hours in search of a particular celestial object which you locate by accident when a klutzy co-worker accidentally knocks your telescope a hair out of kilter. Does the sheer randomness of it all lessen the joy you feel in your discovery? What makes you think it was random? Would your co-worker have known what he was looking at? Is it a bad thing to be lucky? Pay attention over the next few days and when you hear someone shouting “look, what’s that?” I suggest that you look. You may be the only person with the correct answer.
Taurus – We’ve all heard some version of the expression ‘when life gives you lemons, make lemonade’. My favourite is ‘when life hands you lemons, do tequila shots’. But what do you do when life hands you tequila shots and there’s not a lemon in sight? Ha? Ever think of that one? All right so we’ve established that a little lemon is a good thing, let’s move on. What do you do when you’ve won the tequila lottery? You could drink it sans fruit – but only if that’s how you really like it. What about chasing your shot with lime? Or a hand full of raspberries? Or peach slices? Why not more tequila? How about the worm? Do you see where I’m going with this?Gemini – Correct me if I’m wrong, but in the Disney animated movie version of Peter Pan, there’s a little ditty that the Darling children sing as they soar after their new pal PP, and as far as I can remember it goes something like this ‘We can fly, we can fly, we can fly, we can fly, we can fly’. You should be singing these words in any melody you can hum from any genre you desire as you navigate the celestial centre stage. Keep in mind the distance you will be creating between yourself and your loved ones on the ground. I’m not saying don’t fly, I’m just saying sing loudly and clearly.
Cancer - – You are scandalous! Swapping recipes during the knitting circle with the Ladies Auxiliary, all the while plotting with your sweetheart to abscond with the collection plate for a road trip to Vegas with your peeps. Astrologically speaking, I’d say you have a better than average chance of hitting the trifecta. You can cover your expenses, replace your seed money in the church safe and salt away a tidy little nest egg before the flowers in the vestry need changing. Carpe diem RFN, because once Mercury goes retrograde on the 15th you’ve no chance at all.
Leo – Unless you’re auditioning for the part of aquarium decoration I’d suggest that you revisit your wardrobe choices. No one goes deep sea diving in the bubble-headed, lead booted, leather jumpsuit anymore. All that this antique monstrosity will allow you to do is go straight up and straight down. When you’re tied to the surface by a rope and an oxygen tube, your mobility is severely limited. But, before you start removing those diving weights, ask yourself, ‘what do I really know about the bends?’ because you can bet you’re going to be coming up a whole lot faster than you went down.
Virgo - As an artist I would say that it is always good to see what multiple artists make of single subject, like say a cat and a blue fence (I wrote those words before I found the image). Five artists would create five completely different works – possibly in five different media. Somebody, I think it was Picasso, once said something like, all artists borrow, the great ones steal – grab subjects, rip off styles, the whole enchilada. So are great artists copycats or individuals? A little of both I’d guess. After all no matter where you get your inspiration from, it’s still up to you and you alone to turn it into art.
Libra – Thanks to Heather, we can now say welcome back to the land of the living Libra. It was a close run thing there for a while. You couldn’t decide whether you were going to let you inner naughty come out to play or whether you would rather just stay home and bake pies; and let’s face it, you didn’t really get around to making the choice, you just suddenly found that the window of opportunity has slammed on your funny bone and you’re up to your eyeballs in dough. Don’t worry too much about it, there will be other opportunities for laughs and in the meantime you have a new choice to make – what are you going to use for filling?
Scorpio - Your life seems to be suddenly chock-a-block with foreign exchange students. See if you can't sublet a room in your house to a few of them and then levy a cover charge on the keggers they host every Friday night. Throw in a few hookers and you can up the rent. It's a nice little goer that will pay your overhead and then some while granting you exposure to interesting alien cultures. You could quit working for a living. Actually you should quit working have you seen the bags under your eyes?
Capricorn - Have you considered investing in a home cappuccino machine? You could create and consume frothy java goodness in the coziness of your own kitchen. Just imagine how good your morning brew could be when you can make it just the way you like - half caf half decaf extra dry soy latte with a pinch of nutmeg; no foam skim mocha; and hot chocolate! Now don't worry if this sounds like heaven on earth. There's more to life than coffee and over the next week or so you'll have plenty of time to discover new areas of your life that disappoint you. Try to steer clear of the same old sore spots and be creative.
Pisces - Flip flops just might be the best form of foot wear ever invented. They're generally so cheap that you can afford to have dozens of pairs in every colour imaginable and there is a wide range of styles available as well. You could have your basic black or brown for every day and then jazz things up a bit with a red pair for when you're feeling sassy. What about sequins or rhinestones? These may be over the top expenses for actual shoes, but when it comes to flip flops anything goes. Aesthetics aside, the only activity I don't recommend you try in flip flops is running. So think of them as your slow down shoes, and slow down.
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